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The important thing now is that your sister is at peace, and that you need some peace too. Dwelling on this, considering a medical negligence claim, making public criticism that leads to a defamation action, can all turn a sad situation into a never-ending nightmare. It could also destroy everyone in the family, if people take sides. Please let it go.
Almost everyone has some ‘if only’ feelings after a death. If you are a believer, give this problem to God.
It may come down to there was nothing that could be done for sister. Her heart stopped for whatever reason. Things happen. I know that is not a comfort to you. But sometimes there are just no whys. You need to know that you and those carrying for your sister did their best in a very difficult time.
When you have POA it is not "over" someone. The person has assigned you as their representative. The decisions you make are based on the wishes of the person who assigned you.
Read your POA, is it immediate or Springing when the person can no longer make an informed decision. If Springing and your sister was competent to make her own decisions, then ur POA was not in effect. Which means your sister was still in charge of making her own decisions. Signing off on her own DNR. Did you make sure the hospital had a copy of the POA on file? Telling them over the phone is not enough. Son is considered closest living relative over siblings.
I have a feeling sister was terminal. Like Alva said, CPR does not always work.
As a Nurse I often thought, when families insisted on CPR because they could not let go of a loved one, that they had to stay at the bedside during it. It is nowhere as pretty as you see on TV, nor anywhere as successful. I am so dreadfully sorry for your loss. In today's world this is a very young woman. You were not at the bedside, but as I understand a son was. I wonder if you spoke to him. At any time did your mother refuse CPR/DNR?
I am sorry you are grieving. Sometimes we stay in this "argument" about what was done and what wasn't in order to face the fact, the mourning which is so devastatingly difficult. I hope that you will find peace.
Did a doctor ever speak with you? Did he suggest that your Mom's case was hopeless. Because in all truth, when things are hopeless, CPR can amount to battering a person's body. True enough they are gone, and it is unlikely they can feel it, but it is quite a devastating process.
I wish peace for you, and hope something will happen to help you over this hurdle, and to bring some understanding.
I need to ask some questions so others can provide better support and suggestions to you:
Can you please clarify if you were PoA - or - guardian? You're either one or the other, not both.
58 is very young...why was she in the hospital in the first place? What were the circumstances of her medical problems?
How did the hospital "know" you were her PoA? Did you provide the legal documents to them?
If you were not allowed to be in the hospital how do you know that they didn't do CPR or take enough measures to save her life? Maybe she had a Living Will on file that had a DNR?
Not that it makes your loss any less awful but many people on this forum lost loved ones in facilities without being able to be with them.