By proceeding, I agree that I understand the following disclosures:
I. How We Work in Washington. Based on your preferences, we provide you with information about one or more of our contracted senior living providers ("Participating Communities") and provide your Senior Living Care Information to Participating Communities. The Participating Communities may contact you directly regarding their services. APFM does not endorse or recommend any provider. It is your sole responsibility to select the appropriate care for yourself or your loved one. We work with both you and the Participating Communities in your search. We do not permit our Advisors to have an ownership interest in Participating Communities.
II. How We Are Paid. We do not charge you any fee – we are paid by the Participating Communities. Some Participating Communities pay us a percentage of the first month's standard rate for the rent and care services you select. We invoice these fees after the senior moves in.
III. When We Tour. APFM tours certain Participating Communities in Washington (typically more in metropolitan areas than in rural areas.) During the 12 month period prior to December 31, 2017, we toured 86.2% of Participating Communities with capacity for 20 or more residents.
IV. No Obligation or Commitment. You have no obligation to use or to continue to use our services. Because you pay no fee to us, you will never need to ask for a refund.
V. Complaints. Please contact our Family Feedback Line at (866) 584-7340 or
[email protected] to report any complaint. Consumers have many avenues to address a dispute with any referral service company, including the right to file a complaint with the Attorney General's office at: Consumer Protection Division, 800 5th Avenue, Ste. 2000, Seattle, 98104 or 800-551-4636.
VI. No Waiver of Your Rights. APFM does not (and may not) require or even ask consumers seeking senior housing or care services in Washington State to sign waivers of liability for losses of personal property or injury or to sign waivers of any rights established under law.I agree that: A.I authorize A Place For Mom ("APFM") to collect certain personal and contact detail information, as well as relevant health care information about me or from me about the senior family member or relative I am assisting ("Senior Living Care Information"). B.APFM may provide information to me electronically. My electronic signature on agreements and documents has the same effect as if I signed them in ink. C.APFM may send all communications to me electronically via e-mail or by access to an APFM web site. D.If I want a paper copy, I can print a copy of the Disclosures or download the Disclosures for my records. E.This E-Sign Acknowledgement and Authorization applies to these Disclosures and all future Disclosures related to APFM's services, unless I revoke my authorization. You may revoke this authorization in writing at any time (except where we have already disclosed information before receiving your revocation.) This authorization will expire after one year. F.You consent to APFM's reaching out to you using a phone system than can auto-dial numbers (we miss rotary phones, too!), but this consent is not required to use our service.
*If I am consenting on behalf of someone else, I have the proper authorization to do so. By clicking Get My Results, you agree to our
Privacy Policy. You also consent to receive calls and texts, which may be autodialed, from us and our customer communities. Your consent is not a condition to using our service. Please visit our
Terms of Use. for information about our privacy practices.
I've suffered a lot of hardships with my own husband over the past 3 years that I've stood behind him on and have been his caregiver for. But, he's always treated me with the utmost of love and respect. If he starts treating me in an unpleasant way and becomes self-indulgent and too difficult to live with, in ADDITION to having all these health issues, then I will seriously have to consider separating from him. I matter too. My life is just as important as his. At 65, my goal in life is not to babysit a difficult man who treats me like garbage or to isolate myself from him by living in a different part of the house. We either share our lives together as a team or we go our own separate ways. Life is too short to devote ourselves to caregiving a mentally ill, physically ill self-indulgent and unpleasant oaf. Period. If you're not even 'allowed' to detach emotionally from him w/o it leading to drama, how DO you find relief from such an untenable situation otherwise??
Wishing you the best of luck with a difficult situation.
You may have to also hire some outside help to come in and give you a break. You MUST remember that you matter too, and it's not all about your husband. He may want you to believe it is, but trust me it's not.
You may also want to check if you have any caregiver support groups in your area, as my support group saved my life.
I wonder if your husband may have some dementia, as becoming narcissistic is very common with folks with any of the dementias. My husband who had vascular dementia became that way several years before he passed. It can be trying for sure.
But the most important thing I learned in my caregiving journey was that I mattered too and needed to make sure that I was taking care of myself if I was going to survive the journey.
And I did survive it and am now a better person because of it. So stay strong, and please take care of yourself.
Blessings.
I HAVE detached emotionally a great deal. I feel very cheated after 46 years, but I am not leaving him and this is the way my therapist and I came up with how to live with him. He's not a bad person, just cannot handle a crisis w/o disengaging emotionally.
He's better, and he's also NOT better. He can be a real jerk, but the difference is in the way I handle him. If he's 'in a mood' I simply shut his office door and ignore him. And go about my day. He semi-retired this year and is working PT. We also downsized to a retirement home (which was more for me than him, I don't have a huge yard to care for and the house is basically a huge one story and I don't even go downstairs for a week if I don't want to). It's taken him 8 months to be able to say 'we made the right decision'.
A good geriatric psychiatric workup is in order if he hasn't had one.