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She can live for another 10-15 years, do you really want to strap yourself in for that period of time? Keep in mind, she will not get better, the more you cater to her neediness the more she will demand.
I would sit back and think the entire situation over, you have a family too, and, they must be your priority, not her. There is an option for her, why not take advantage of it. Good Luck!
Does she live with you? You say you are the only local daughter. Are there any local sons?
As said, Boundries! From the day Mom had to give up her license, we did things when I wanted to or had the time. I worked a p/t job. Appts were made when I could do them. Once a week we went shopping and did errands. But, my Mom had a life of her own. She had Church and friends who invited her places.
Think this way... the less u do for Mom the more AL may look better to her. 3 meals a day, laundry done, cleaing done, meds given, activities.
If there isn’t a legitimate emergency you don’t have to be available every time she wants you to be there. The more that you are. The more that she will expect it.
Try to have a ‘matter of fact’ approach to it. If she is trying to get a reaction she won’t receive one.
She may truly be bored, lonely but you can’t be everything to your mom. You can offer to introduce her to things.
For instance, I know an older woman who calls me and ask me to do things with her and I occasionally will spend time with her but she is the type if I give her an inch she wants a mile.
So I limit my time with her. I recently told her that I will go to the senior community center with her to do a chair yoga class and lunch. I will get her started because she is very shy around new people but then she is on her own.
It could help her make some friends and maybe find some interests.
Another option is to hire a care person to keep her company for a while.
I don't think there's much to feel bad/guilty about, either, because in reality, we're all human. We all have our breaking points, too, and can only stand so much 'togetherness'. My mother was always the smothering type as well, so I never did appreciate that kind of behavior. My suggestion to you is for YOU to call the shots. Decide when you will visit, how long you will stay, what activities you can do together to limit the complaining.
Remember that you can't be anybody's entertainment 24/7, either, that is unrealistic. Look into a senior center for your mother who's still pretty young, and see if you can get her interested in signing up. There's also Silver Sneakers and other exercise classes available at the Y and other places in your neighborhood. See what she might like to do, other than count on YOU for fun.
Good luck!