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Just leaving in the state of Fla money or not is considered 'Abuse' something everyone that resides in Fla needs to be aware of before taking on this task.
She came home from the NH rehab center just over a week ago and I got Hospice involved 3 days later cause her personal doctor wasn't getting the job done, I did beg and plead with her doctor to readmit her to get her medications under control which of course he refused and wanted me to deal with dosing at home, Hospice has been spot on I have zero complaints with them at this point, contacted the Hospice Social Worker and we went over the options, then the Hospice nurse called in and finally the Hospice doctor getting her medications under control as we speak and if tomorrow everything is better Hospice is going to arrange a 5 day Respite and take that time to finalize mom's medications but they can't take her when she's acting out the way she was, I'm stuck with her for a few more days but hopefully the med change will calm her down.
I didn't know I was eligible for Respite so soon nor did I know it was 5 days every 30 I could take Respite.
The NH did a number on us and pretty much dumped her this way on me things started getting better once Hospice took mom off the Alzheimer's medications but today was her first outburst in a week.
Just knowing I can take 5 days off every 30 will help until I can rebuild a bit of my own cash flow then I'm going to place mom permanently, might take me a few months but it'll get done, I'm tiered of being treated like staff and dealing with a destroyed home, I'm taking every ones advise and looking out for myself but it will just take a bit of time before I can really do anything.
I have a feeling once she's back in the NH she's going to want to come back home before the 5 days is up but the SW said stay away once the Respite begins just drop her off and pick her up at the end and if they need anything they'll call, I advised my mother attempts to get the nurses to call home the SW stated she'd inform them to limit mothers phone time and no calls to the house except official calls for issues.
That's the best I can do for the time being mom has finally calmed down.
I fully admit I was not mentally prepared for all this cause when mom went into the NH rehab she wasn't anywhere near this bad off, 2 weeks later she had flipped and this is the person they sent me home with, even the nurses are a bit wowed by the dramatic sudden change, it's not unheard of but it's also not in the normal from what I'm being told.
My mother has always been Narcissistic in her nature though this seems to be seriously amplifying it.
I'm just hanging in there at this point and ignoring her insults which is all anyone can really do.
Just to let every one know my mother thinks she's in some kind of 'show' no one really knows what she's talking about but we all know it's the Dementia doing a number on her.
Too much TV time is my best guess.
But right now she is in such mental distress that I think a 911 call may be needed?
She kept demanding I take her home, I kept telling her she was home but that never seemed to satisfy her she's confused.
911 will not help this is really a nightmare I went over all the options with the SW and it's simple I either self pay which is $7k to $10k a month or medicaid which leaves me penniless and broke because I went bankrupt paying for all the household expenses and covering my mothers overages in her bank account until I took over her finances, it's a long story but my mother duped me out of $8k to cover her spending habits before all this went down with promises of paying me back which by now you've probably figured she never paid me back so I'm out of any nest egg I may have had so this isn't a simple case of just drop her off and everything will work out, I wish it was that simple I wouldn't hesitate.
I've been a caregiver for 10+ years first my father and then before I could get my things together mom started to have issues but I never thought it was going to be like this or so quickly to be honest.
Knowing Respite is an actual option will help and I'll try and pickup work while mother is in the NH to rebuild my nest egg so I can escape all this madness at this point it's going to be a few days before they can place her for my Respite and hoping the med changes take affect to calm her down.
The last NH just starting feeding my mother medications to sedate her so they wouldn't have to deal with her I didn't know until 24 hours after bringing her home how out of whack they had all her medications and her personal doctor wasn't in any rush to lend a hand at getting the situation fixed for whatever the reason so I was left to my own until I got Hospice involved.