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The upshot is she is supposed to leave Wednesday per he Medicare Advantage plan company, but will not be able to go to AL then
The AL director says the rehab place cannot discharge her if the AL is not ready to take her, but what then?
Can she stay there for a couple more days? Who pays? She has not reached the 21 day limit for medicate pay for rehab but was leaving as medicare thought she was ready to leave.
Private pay on that could be spendy.
In re the non refundable community fee prior to nurse intake evaluation: Turns out this was miscommunicated (I think, could not be possible that I misunderstood)
Anyway, I had to write the check today to get the ball rolling and hold the apartment, but, it only becomes non refundable after my mom begins living there. If something comes up before then, it will be refunded.
As far as my mom unwillingness: Talked to Occupational Therapist at rehab who confirmed she needed to have 7/24 care, which at first I interpreted as someone there in her apartment all the time. What they meant was like at an AL where there is help 24/7. So that confirmed the choice. On cognitive scale she said my mom scored 3.5 on a 5.6 scale, and I have no idea what that means. I asked if my mom should be in memory care. The OT said no, not now. But probably in the future, which I assumed.
Anyway, a social worker from a state agency which helps oversee these transitions among other things, came to talk to my mom. My mom went off saying I (and my brothers) dont care about her and must hate her for wanting to send her to assisted living. The SW had skills I dont have, she was very able to calm my down, and de escalate. She said no, your sons love and care for you and are concerned about your safety .For the first time I saw my mom kind of accept the point
She is still not into it but pointed out her aversion is in part because of the words Assisted Living. She is vain, and ideally would have gotten in one of those places where assisted living and indy living are just mixed, there is no differentiation . But those places were not best for other reasons this time Also talked to a couple cousins who had similar situations They said yes, our parent did not want to go to AL, yes, we knew legally it was their choice but they did it anyway . And parent was angry for a long time but ultimately saw the wisdom
Later talked to admissions director at the AL she is going to, and IL she is at now. She said that is not uncommon, many elders hate the Assisted Living tag.
She also said as someone mentioned here that they would nto have taken her back into IL, with the assessment of the therapy staff at rehab. Although my mom is paid up there through end of /August, so I dont know how they handle that.
She said my mom was on their radar for a while in terms of having to move her, the fall which put her in rehab sort of just hastened the process.
I know I have rambled, but one more thing. My mom says she doesnt need AL as people at IL talk about how fast she is, she like the energizer bunny
The OT said, yes she is very fast, that is part of the problem, she is a fall risk because of that and should not upgrade to a four wheel walker.
They need to come up with a better tag .
She can go where SHE thinks is best, but forfeit your help.
She can go where the professionals are advising, with your help.
Make it clear to her that if she chooses the former and she needs more care, she will be in charge of finding it, or paying someone to do so, that you are washing your hands of the situation.
We will not help her without it, unless the court or some other authority assigns DH emergency guardianship
I see the wisdom here , let her fail first . It’s the only way to manage this level of stubbornness .
The Community fee...I think I paid it when I wrote a check for the first months rent when Mom moved in. As said, its for cleaning the room, etc when she leaves.
The evaluation will determine Moms needs and what she pays a month will determine what her care will entail. At Moms, room and board were one price and her care needs were another. Mom was a 4 the highest level. She needed help bathing, dressing, brushing her teeth,getting her down to dinner, toileting, etc. They will periodically re-evaluate your mom and if her needs have increased, so will her care costs.
Meeting with a state senior agency today to hopefully navigate this
I would ask for clarification from the business office.
We paid the non refundable fee with the first month’s rent on move in day in one AL .
The other AL that another family member was in , asked for it upfront ( to hold the room we wanted ) but it was refundable IF my mother didn’t move in due to the evaluation causing them to deny her admission .
What if that ended up being more than say another place?