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I would do a little research about the tenant/ squatter rules in your state.
Here in NY if you can prove residency for 30 days, EVEN IF YOU PAY NO RENT (aka squatting) the owner of the property has to go to landlord/tenant court to have you evicted. Otherwise it's considered an illegal eviction, and the property owner can get fined/go to jail.
Please proceed with caution as you do this, so you don't end up in legal hot water.
I would stop feeding the lazy drunk and dump his mess in his room.
When people tell you who they are, believe them.
Who really thinks that paying their fair share comes with a cook and a housekeeper. And that they can leave a mess in the common areas. A lazy drunk that's who.
Your husband has given him ample opportunity to shape up and become a good roommate, he has made his choice.
Bye bye brother!!!
These are common issues with people living together and often cause issues to arise if not discussed prior to cohabitating. I know that I heard about these same things from my college aged daughter with her roommates. She learned to bring up these topics when finding a new roommate before living together.
What has been your brother in law’s response to your husband’s requests for his help around the house?
The simple answer to this question is that it simply isn’t working out. It could be a personality issue or do you feel his drinking is excessive and causing another set of problems?
Do you financially need a boarder or were you doing this as a favor to help him out? Is he taking advantage of you in any other ways? This is sort of like loaning money to a family member or friend. It generally isn’t a good idea.
Your first priority is your husband’s health. If this is interfering with any recovery then it isn’t worth trying to deal with it any longer. Is he social distancing from these people? Is your husband cooking for a crew? You are dealing with a grown man, not a young person who is immature and doesn’t have life experience. He many be a nonconformist at this point.
I wish you and your husband well. Take care.
I know that he may be a pain by not helping around the house, but, would he be able to help if you or DH got sick with covid? Having a backup person to help with care is a plus, imo. Who would care for you if you both got the virus? You are right of course about not wanting him there if he doesn't pull his weight, but, with covid-19, I think about things in a survivalist mode now.
Buh bye BIL. Sorry not sorry. He brought this on himself when all he had to do was pitch in and help you all out here!
Wishing you the best of luck with DH's health situation; it's time to take care of YOURSELVES now. You've done enough for others.
I'm so sorry to know that your husband is fighting lung cancer. This is a very trying time for the two of you and his brother should have more compassion.
At 63 he can collect SS. He can work. There is low income housing. Food stamps. Food pantries. If he has been paying rent, you may have to evict.
But...the expectations as to his behavior probably should have been made clear BEFORE he moved in. If he is a boarder in your home, that generally does not come with chores or behavioral expectations.