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We sure do see the lessons, ALL of the lessons on what NOT to do and what helps.
I raised my children telling them they would not/should not be responsible for me in age (the whole "put-me-out-on-the-iceflow-speech), and have discussed often with them what I want, and I know what THEY want, as the truth is that when we make plans, the gods laugh.
Yours is a great reminder. Say hi to my home town.
If you're up to it, look into some retirement homes/nursing homes in your area. Get the literature and send it to your kids, and keep a file with that information in your house. If you tour any of those places, or even just from the literature, make some notes about what are positives and what are negatives of each place.
Most important, be sure your son the executor (and most likely he's the successor trustee, not an executor) already is up to speed on your finances, not just assigned to hit the ground running on the day he needs to take over. You can also consider resigning from your trust as my parents did, which allows him to have full control of your financial affairs before you're completely incapacitated. My parents did that when my dad was diagnosed with cancer. He was the one with no dementia and was handling all their affairs just fine, but he had a very small window of time between his diagnosis and his death and he knew that I should take over immediately. I was able to ask him questions and go with him to banks and financial advisers before I only had a piece of paper to say I was in charge. HE told the banks and financial advisers I was in charge, and we went over everything before he became unable to. Two years later, I still have no questions that went unanswered, and that was an enormous gift to me. I know exactly why he invested the way he did, I know what accounts were for what purpose, and I know he fully trusted me to do what is in my mother's best interests from that point on.
There's nothing worse than not knowing what someone is thinking, especially when the only thing keeping you from knowing is asking (or telling). TELL your children what you want and don't want now. Our later years are when we need to become the most transparent with our loved ones.