By proceeding, I agree that I understand the following disclosures:
I. How We Work in Washington. Based on your preferences, we provide you with information about one or more of our contracted senior living providers ("Participating Communities") and provide your Senior Living Care Information to Participating Communities. The Participating Communities may contact you directly regarding their services. APFM does not endorse or recommend any provider. It is your sole responsibility to select the appropriate care for yourself or your loved one. We work with both you and the Participating Communities in your search. We do not permit our Advisors to have an ownership interest in Participating Communities.
II. How We Are Paid. We do not charge you any fee – we are paid by the Participating Communities. Some Participating Communities pay us a percentage of the first month's standard rate for the rent and care services you select. We invoice these fees after the senior moves in.
III. When We Tour. APFM tours certain Participating Communities in Washington (typically more in metropolitan areas than in rural areas.) During the 12 month period prior to December 31, 2017, we toured 86.2% of Participating Communities with capacity for 20 or more residents.
IV. No Obligation or Commitment. You have no obligation to use or to continue to use our services. Because you pay no fee to us, you will never need to ask for a refund.
V. Complaints. Please contact our Family Feedback Line at (866) 584-7340 or
[email protected] to report any complaint. Consumers have many avenues to address a dispute with any referral service company, including the right to file a complaint with the Attorney General's office at: Consumer Protection Division, 800 5th Avenue, Ste. 2000, Seattle, 98104 or 800-551-4636.
VI. No Waiver of Your Rights. APFM does not (and may not) require or even ask consumers seeking senior housing or care services in Washington State to sign waivers of liability for losses of personal property or injury or to sign waivers of any rights established under law.I agree that: A.I authorize A Place For Mom ("APFM") to collect certain personal and contact detail information, as well as relevant health care information about me or from me about the senior family member or relative I am assisting ("Senior Living Care Information"). B.APFM may provide information to me electronically. My electronic signature on agreements and documents has the same effect as if I signed them in ink. C.APFM may send all communications to me electronically via e-mail or by access to an APFM web site. D.If I want a paper copy, I can print a copy of the Disclosures or download the Disclosures for my records. E.This E-Sign Acknowledgement and Authorization applies to these Disclosures and all future Disclosures related to APFM's services, unless I revoke my authorization. You may revoke this authorization in writing at any time (except where we have already disclosed information before receiving your revocation.) This authorization will expire after one year. F.You consent to APFM's reaching out to you using a phone system than can auto-dial numbers (we miss rotary phones, too!), but this consent is not required to use our service.
*If I am consenting on behalf of someone else, I have the proper authorization to do so. By clicking Get My Results, you agree to our
Privacy Policy. You also consent to receive calls and texts, which may be autodialed, from us and our customer communities. Your consent is not a condition to using our service. Please visit our
Terms of Use. for information about our privacy practices.
I started a Happy Memory Thread. I felt we come here and share all the difficulties we experience with our LOs, why not some good ones?
This forums been a God send to me. I'm so afraid I'm doing things wrong and will hurt my Mom somehow. Or I'm a retched person for my frustrations.
But like you, I just love her so much. I thank God He set our lives up in such a way, that I'm the one who can be here with her, now, when SHE needs help.
My Memories Thread was a way to give our LOs some dignity, at a time when we're airing their dirty laundry, so to speak.
Ok so, my Mom is a real pip! One day we were shopping at Wally world (Walmart) and my Mom was riding one of those electric carts.
There were two ignorant women who had their shopping cart on one side of the isle, while they were on the other side looking at make up. Naturally Mom couldn't get by. Mom said excuse me.....they looked right at her and went back to what they were doing. I was in the isle but not near Mom. Momma said it again, still nothing!
Mom began to back up, she then floored it forward hitting their cart out of the way and continued on. They started complaining to her, when Mom held up her ✋ hand and said...."Sorry Hun, that's just the way I roll!"
This lady still got it! Love her!
Thank you for this thread. You and your dear Mom are in my thoughts and prayers.
I'm sorry, but I can't answer your question about how to say goodbye. I'm not there yet. But maybe, if you decide not to leave the forum, you could help some of us get through it when the time comes. 💜💖
I'm sorry you don't feel supported on this forum. It is easy to focus on the negative and moan and complain .. instead of trying to focus on the positive and be grateful for what we do have. (I am often very guilty of that). Someday I will not be able to see my Mom's and Dad's smile or be able to hug them.. and I will long for that.
I try to remind myself to focus on gratitude, enjoy what I can.. but try to control what I focus on. Positive posts like yours are welcome here...I'm glad you are able to enjoy your mom and feel some joy during this very hard time with your Mom.
I believe caregiving and extreme hardships can mold you into a better person .. if you allow them to. I do try to refocus myself to gratitude and positive.. but occasionally I do need a good vent...which I use this forum for as well.
((hugs))
Mom LOVES family reunions and in the past, she was the one who organized them. Now most of her generation has died and my generation is scattered to different states across the USA.
On the Sunday of the Family Reunion, Mom was alert and oriented and able to talk about the past and look at photos and understand what was being discussed. We had a GREAT TIME! Everyone enjoyed themselves and we were hoping to have a family reunion this year.
Sadly Mom has deteriorated to the point that she does not know who I am and thinks that my brother works in the state we live when in fact he lives a another state.
God gave us a wonderful gift that day of the Family Reunion and I am so glad that my cousins from other states were able to attend. C:--)
The stroke last spring was another hurtle. I had to quit my job to stay with him. My co-workers told me I needed to hire *someone* and keep my job.
I told them this. Being with my husband now is more important than the job.
Our time may be limited.
There are days he wakes up and pees a bit in his pants or on the bed. There are days he just sits and stares. But when I smile and hug him, he breaks out in the most beautiful smile ever and tells me he loves me.
People tell me how 'sorry' they are and I am confused. What we still have is a deep love and compassion that may be affected by cancer and the stroke, but it is still there.
I am not sorry.
I am enjoying the time well spent with my husband.
He may not recall this time in the near future. But I can smile knowing we will have wonderful moments.
My aunt was an important part of my growing up, and she was a travel companion for the first 2 years here with me. I still love seeing her enjoy the antics of our young dog. My mom was with my brother's family then.
My burnout came with a year-long serious condition with my husband, and he could no longer help me stay balanced. Happily, he is recovering now that the cause is known and being addressed.
I hope you find the support you need somewhere now that your mom is in hospice.
Me and my mom (&dad) always had a great relationship. as an adult I loved being with her and doing things together!
things aren't so easy anymore, so that's all I can say.
still im there for her in any way I can. I take my responsibilities seriously. she deserves it.
do I complain = guilty
To be honest though.. it is not consistent joy (not by a long shot).. just fleeting moments.. which I probably will treasure forever.