By proceeding, I agree that I understand the following disclosures:
I. How We Work in Washington. Based on your preferences, we provide you with information about one or more of our contracted senior living providers ("Participating Communities") and provide your Senior Living Care Information to Participating Communities. The Participating Communities may contact you directly regarding their services. APFM does not endorse or recommend any provider. It is your sole responsibility to select the appropriate care for yourself or your loved one. We work with both you and the Participating Communities in your search. We do not permit our Advisors to have an ownership interest in Participating Communities.
II. How We Are Paid. We do not charge you any fee – we are paid by the Participating Communities. Some Participating Communities pay us a percentage of the first month's standard rate for the rent and care services you select. We invoice these fees after the senior moves in.
III. When We Tour. APFM tours certain Participating Communities in Washington (typically more in metropolitan areas than in rural areas.) During the 12 month period prior to December 31, 2017, we toured 86.2% of Participating Communities with capacity for 20 or more residents.
IV. No Obligation or Commitment. You have no obligation to use or to continue to use our services. Because you pay no fee to us, you will never need to ask for a refund.
V. Complaints. Please contact our Family Feedback Line at (866) 584-7340 or
[email protected] to report any complaint. Consumers have many avenues to address a dispute with any referral service company, including the right to file a complaint with the Attorney General's office at: Consumer Protection Division, 800 5th Avenue, Ste. 2000, Seattle, 98104 or 800-551-4636.
VI. No Waiver of Your Rights. APFM does not (and may not) require or even ask consumers seeking senior housing or care services in Washington State to sign waivers of liability for losses of personal property or injury or to sign waivers of any rights established under law.I agree that: A.I authorize A Place For Mom ("APFM") to collect certain personal and contact detail information, as well as relevant health care information about me or from me about the senior family member or relative I am assisting ("Senior Living Care Information"). B.APFM may provide information to me electronically. My electronic signature on agreements and documents has the same effect as if I signed them in ink. C.APFM may send all communications to me electronically via e-mail or by access to an APFM web site. D.If I want a paper copy, I can print a copy of the Disclosures or download the Disclosures for my records. E.This E-Sign Acknowledgement and Authorization applies to these Disclosures and all future Disclosures related to APFM's services, unless I revoke my authorization. You may revoke this authorization in writing at any time (except where we have already disclosed information before receiving your revocation.) This authorization will expire after one year. F.You consent to APFM's reaching out to you using a phone system than can auto-dial numbers (we miss rotary phones, too!), but this consent is not required to use our service.
*If I am consenting on behalf of someone else, I have the proper authorization to do so. By clicking Get My Results, you agree to our
Privacy Policy. You also consent to receive calls and texts, which may be autodialed, from us and our customer communities. Your consent is not a condition to using our service. Please visit our
Terms of Use. for information about our privacy practices.
People say that some elders can confabulate enough to fool doctors and strangers that they are completely normal, when really they aren't. That's how that one got labeled as performing for strangers and hence "showtiming".
And yeah, sounds like you have a "showtimer" who is exhausting himself with performing so that in evenings he is extra cranky with the sundown effect. Great, huh? Two for one! I surely do think they can end up related in this manner GG.
My daughter and her family were here visiting for a week. At first Mom was so thrilled to have the extra company, by their last night, at our last dinner together, they witnessed her nastiness and the mean things she said to me. Brought me to tears, (which is no easy feat,) Ha!
Hang in there. You are not alone and what you are experiencing, unfortunately is real.
I do believe you are very correct that these two are connected. I also really like the term “cognitive fatigue.”
Good luck with everything. Know that you are doing a wonderful job. And remember that you are not alone.
* cognitive fatigue * I would call it
An OT described having a set amount of energy during a day. This was for physical fatigue, eg chemo or long covid but I think it could easily apply for mental fatigue too. When you use up your supply of mental energy, well it's gone. Only a good night's sleep (or more) can hope to restore it.
As you may remember, I have a chronic illness.
When I have to be “on”, I have to be really careful not to “over-do”.
If I DO “overdo”, I can trigger a flare that ends me in bed for days. It takes me extra energy to then be of good cheer for my family. Since I really don’t have that energy, I have to fake it.
I’m guessing that with his FTD, he can’t pace himself. He can’t consciously conserve his brain/body energy.
Unfortunately, this means that YOU are left with a man who can’t consciously make the effort it takes to be kind and considerate, after he has expended all his energy. He can’t fake the good cheer.
I’m so sorry, my friend.
A little off topic, but many would say to me "There's nothing wrong with your mother. She's dressed in nice clothing with her hair done." My reply "My mother has wet AMD and the resulting legally blind status, incontinence, CHF, Atrial fibrillation and her blood pressure is 60/40. That is why I put my life on pause, having had to move in with her." My mother was able to fool a lot of people, herself not among them.
Sundown Syndrome is characterized by increased confusion, agitation, and occasionally aggression in the late afternoon and evening. For Sundown Syndrome, it helps to have more lighting, simple routines/environments, and occasionally anti-anxiety medications to calm agitation.