By proceeding, I agree that I understand the following disclosures:
I. How We Work in Washington. Based on your preferences, we provide you with information about one or more of our contracted senior living providers ("Participating Communities") and provide your Senior Living Care Information to Participating Communities. The Participating Communities may contact you directly regarding their services. APFM does not endorse or recommend any provider. It is your sole responsibility to select the appropriate care for yourself or your loved one. We work with both you and the Participating Communities in your search. We do not permit our Advisors to have an ownership interest in Participating Communities.
II. How We Are Paid. We do not charge you any fee – we are paid by the Participating Communities. Some Participating Communities pay us a percentage of the first month's standard rate for the rent and care services you select. We invoice these fees after the senior moves in.
III. When We Tour. APFM tours certain Participating Communities in Washington (typically more in metropolitan areas than in rural areas.) During the 12 month period prior to December 31, 2017, we toured 86.2% of Participating Communities with capacity for 20 or more residents.
IV. No Obligation or Commitment. You have no obligation to use or to continue to use our services. Because you pay no fee to us, you will never need to ask for a refund.
V. Complaints. Please contact our Family Feedback Line at (866) 584-7340 or
[email protected] to report any complaint. Consumers have many avenues to address a dispute with any referral service company, including the right to file a complaint with the Attorney General's office at: Consumer Protection Division, 800 5th Avenue, Ste. 2000, Seattle, 98104 or 800-551-4636.
VI. No Waiver of Your Rights. APFM does not (and may not) require or even ask consumers seeking senior housing or care services in Washington State to sign waivers of liability for losses of personal property or injury or to sign waivers of any rights established under law.I agree that: A.I authorize A Place For Mom ("APFM") to collect certain personal and contact detail information, as well as relevant health care information about me or from me about the senior family member or relative I am assisting ("Senior Living Care Information"). B.APFM may provide information to me electronically. My electronic signature on agreements and documents has the same effect as if I signed them in ink. C.APFM may send all communications to me electronically via e-mail or by access to an APFM web site. D.If I want a paper copy, I can print a copy of the Disclosures or download the Disclosures for my records. E.This E-Sign Acknowledgement and Authorization applies to these Disclosures and all future Disclosures related to APFM's services, unless I revoke my authorization. You may revoke this authorization in writing at any time (except where we have already disclosed information before receiving your revocation.) This authorization will expire after one year. F.You consent to APFM's reaching out to you using a phone system than can auto-dial numbers (we miss rotary phones, too!), but this consent is not required to use our service.
*If I am consenting on behalf of someone else, I have the proper authorization to do so. By clicking Get My Results, you agree to our
Privacy Policy. You also consent to receive calls and texts, which may be autodialed, from us and our customer communities. Your consent is not a condition to using our service. Please visit our
Terms of Use. for information about our privacy practices.
Is it at all possible to arrange a meeting with your siblings? And *only* to discuss the situation and how it can be improved? You could set an agenda for the subjects you would like to discuss eg
1. Travel costs/other costs on your family
2. Reasonable times/periods of time you can visit
3. What exactly your mother needs, and what she may be expected to need in future
4. How this can be covered
5. What you cannot do eg provide emergency cover
They could add their own suggestions.
This used to work really well for our family!
I am willing for my mother to come here for as long as she wishes but as one of my siblings told me yesterday, "no one is going to drive her there and no one ever will" and my mother says she can't come that far. I also believe that it isn't that difficult for her to sit in the car and ride here. She really doesn't have any special equipment except a walker and has bars around her bathtub. She doesn't have any nursing care because my siblings are tightfisted and don't want to spend any funds for any outside care. They expect that we should be doing it all with no help or expenditures. One of my siblings handles all her finances and doesn't share the information. I am expected to eat the expense for my travels to her house and home again, which is generally $200/gas while the sibling docks her accounts for any in home travel he does on her behalf.
There are a lot of issues here and resentments, as I see I am unloading all my frustrations here. I am suppose to go to do a turn to watch after my Mother in a little over a week and I am having second thoughts on whether to go, whether to just go, pack her in my car and drive back home with her, whether she agrees or not (is that legal?) and let her stay here while I am able to maintain my own life as well as care for her. The attitudes of my siblings who always make me feel like I am never doing enough, or how dare I not just drop everything and run to suit their schedules (one sibling is not responding to me now because I wouldn't come in a 2 day notice), make me not want to come to tread in hostile waters as well as neglecting my own responsibilities at home.
Again, thanks for your feedback.
Has she lived in her town for a long time? Perhaps she is concerned about losing support of or contact with friends/church/social organizations while she is gone? It's very difficult for the elderly to move to a strange environment and lose their social support. In that sense I can see her reluctance. On the other hand, if you have children, a supportive church or social organization that she could be included in, perhaps that would entice her? 400 miles is not that far to travel. Is your mother able to travel or is she incapacitated? Just how much care and/or medical equipment does she need? Would it be terribly difficult to transport equipment? Can you provide care in your home? Does she have visiting nurses where she is now, and could you get them where you are?