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Recently, there was a 2 year anniversary of my dear friend’s death, who had kidney cancer. I think of him every day. And, in May of this year will be the one year anniversary of another long time dear friend from sepsis. He had spinal surgery and it never really healed. It seems endless.
I will say many prayers for my friend with stomach cancer moving forward. Whichever route she takes, it seems there will be plenty of need for support, assistance and encouragement.
We have a friend, also dxed with stage 4 lymphoma, who's considered cured now after a pretty grueling 4 year battle. A bone marrow transplant is what finally did the trick.
So, while your friend may have a LOT of chemo & treatments in store for her and probably cannot live alone during that process, she may still LIVE. That's my point. Nobody has a crystal ball to see the future outcomes of such things, but there is hope!
"overall relative survival rate for all stages of stomach cancer is 31.5 percent. The five-year relative survival rate for distant stomach cancer (stage 4) is 5.3 percent.Apr 25, 2019"
If I had a 5% survival rate, I would not subject myself to surgery or chemo. I would just put my life in order and enjoy what time I have left. She will need Hospice. If you have facilities for that, she may want to go that way. If not, it means "in home" and she will need someone there 24/7. Eventually, she will probably be in a morphine sleep for the pain.
My GF passed in November from stage IV stomach cancer at 70. She had other factors too, diabetes, heart problems and Parkinsons. She was also a negative person. Surgery was not done but chemo was. The chemo caused big problems for her and had to be stopped. While in the hospital, she contracted COVID and survived that. Went to rehab and transferred to LTC because she needed 24/7 care and had no one who could provide care nor could she afford it.
I have a longtime friend (63 yrs) that does nothing but give to others. These types of people don't deserve this kind of thing. I pray that I am wrong and she is one of the 5% who can beat this. Attitude has a lot to do with it.
I did not require surgery, so that helped make my decision easier. My grandma had stomach cancer in her 70's. She was one tough nut. Her surgery was awful--a lot like what I would think a gastric bypass would be like--but 'open' wound, not laproscopic, so it did take her a long time to heal. She did not do chemo. She recovered well enough to enjoy 15 more years.
In her early 90's she was dxed with breast cancer and she opted for no treatment. That is not what she died from, and it really didn't affect her QOL.
Gma had neighbors and family with her pretty much 24/7. Just getting up was pretty hard--and she needed a lot of help. BUT--she lived alone to the end.
Having said that--everyone's cancer journey is their own.
Please understand, I’m not trying to be mean, cold, or defeatist. When someone we love is this sick, we want to cling to any possible straw that can change or improve the circumstance. It comes down to quality of life in the time someone has left. I’m so sorry.
I wish you luck on this journey and hope you have good MDs who will discuss with you how to get social services help, and advice ongoing. Hope you will update us.
I really don’t know but I want to offer my support.
I hope it works out for them.