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Support groups kind of want you to 'get better' and sometimes, man, we just want to roll around in our self pity.
May not be the healthiest way to handle it, but our LO's who are making us nuts aren't changing, are they? Some actually really enjoy the drama---just sayin'.
I Just watched some videos of Dr Les Carter. Boy did I learn a lot! I am so grateful to you for your advice. I have been struggling with my narcissistic mother for so many years. I have ordered Dr Carter’s book and I feel like I am about to finally get my life back, or a least make a start. Thank You so much for the support!
I don’t know of a support group. My success with a support group for an invisible illness I have was less than stellar though so I haven’t looked that hard. But the best thing we did with my mother was find a good, upscale ILF then ALF. ( has to be upscale for her but she has the $$$) . She hated it at first, still complains to us constantly but she has a little kingdom to rule over , they encourage residents to participate so in the first one she took it upon herself to take charge of positioning all walkers in the dining room lol. She can boss the less forceful people and they are out of it enough not to care. The staff claim to love her.
She’s still a handful for us to deal with she since somehow she raised a bunch of total incompetent ner do wells 😉 but we can basically stay out of the day to day drama and just get involved with things our POAs deal with. 60 years of dysfunctional family life is more than enough.
As a nurse you may have already done this but the best thing I’ve ever done for myself was go to a therapist. I actually went for help dealing with the plethora of health problems I have since at the time knew nothing about NPD and assumed everyone had a mother like mine lol. That was about 12-15 years ago and I’m still discovering things about myself my mother claimed about me that were total lies. It’s probably the main thing that has helps me have the strength to put some distance between myself and her. I’m much happier and have more peace and she doesn’t control my life as much as she used to. It would be great if we all had kind, loving parents but we can’t change that. We can only change how much it rules our lives.
Otherwise, the best support group I found was right here on this forum :) There were no support groups in my area, and I live in a large metro area. The main reason was caregivers weren't able to get away or find someone to help out so that they could attend meetings.
Keep in touch with this forum...it will help with your own sanity.
Since my narcissistic mother has developed Vascular Dementia it's like an even worse situation! Until recently I thought my sister and I were the only ones dealing with what seemed to be a torturous mother! We didn't even know there was a word or name for it until I took an abnormal psychology class! My therapy is talking with my sister who is the ONLY one who understands me! Now I see on here we are not the only ones so this is my other support now. Perhaps it can be for you as well?
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