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When I am overloaded with emotional stuff, or go through some stressful things with DH (he is a walking miracle, he's lived through so many things that should have killed him) I tend to ramp up the panic attacks.
I DO have an anti anxiety med to take, and I so grateful, b/c it works every single time.
Sometimes I have to back off of things and say no to people. Caring for mother is huge anxiety trigger. I spend minimal time with her. DH's health, while currently good, is rocky. He had 2 heart attacks last summer and I am still feeling 'uneven' about those. My doc said it would take a year or more for both of us to accept the 'new norm'--meaning, we wouldn't freak out over every little mis-beat of his heart.
It's easy for docs to say 'take it easy, relax, blah blah' and really HARD to do when you are having that heart pounding attack that will NOT end.
I am trying to cut down on other's expectations--starting with my family. My kids are old enough to take over the party hosting stuff. I can put myself first. (This is harder than I thought).
And I also don't ever have the attacks when the actual trauma is happening--it comes popping out in other ways--with no seeming trigger.
If this is causing you to be miserable and fearful in your daily life, talk to your doc. A low dose of Zoloft for me keeps me from being anxious and a 'as needed' benzodiazepene. Not proud of this, but glad I can handle life.
Deep breathing and mindfulness also help. Whatever works for you. Most times we cannot handle the stressors because we live with them. Gotta learn to live around them.
Speaking to a good therapist. I had a great social worker that really helped me sort out feelings that I had.
Don’t let anyone make you feel inferior either, such as relatives who don’t do the caregiving or contribute in other ways. Make an excuse and hang up the phone if they call.
Some family members aren’t able to or not interested in the hands on caregiving but they could call just to offer support and they don’t. That’s a shame. I used to take those things to heart, not anymore!
My mom has anxiety. It rubs off on us. I had to learn how to let it roll off my back. We started to feed off of each other, otherwise, know what I mean? Happens with too much togetherness!
Actually do some housekeeping, eliminate any negative people who create anxiety in your life. I have had to do that with a couple of people. Ended up being liberating for me. Now they are bothering others but it not’s me anymore!
Choose to be around or speak with people who lift you up, not knock you down, commonly called, energy vampires! They will drain the life out of you and make you feel like things are much worse than they are or that they know so much more than we do. As caregivers we have enough on our plates.
Deep breathing. Soothing music or hey, loud rock music from our youth! I have such eclectic taste in music, adore jazz and blues, classic rock, soothing classical to unwind, any variety of music that is good.
Exercise! Great stress buster! I will do thirty minutes to an hour on my exercise bike. Don’t laugh but I also love chopping vegetables to make a large pot of homemade soup.
I am a coffee drinker but I find sipping hot tea very soothing. Same as a hot bath. When I get the chance I am going to schedule a massage too!
Take care, mega hugs!
The others have given good advice.
I will add my experience since it’s a little different.
My body had been sending me signals that I was ignoring.
After the deaths of my Dad, Stepdad and Maternal Grandmother within 2 years and the management of their care I was fried. But Mom was still in her home alone with Dementia after my Stepdads death. She was refusing help.
About a week before Christmas and after a heated discussion with Mom about her care or lack thereof I was driving home. I felt I couldn’t breath, my chest was tight, I felt cold but sweaty, queasy and lightheaded. I was passing the hospital. I wheeled into the chest pain center there.
I was kept overnight for observation and had a stress test the next morning. Everything checked out. I was fine but referred to my GP because of my diagnosis...STRESS.
My family physician talked to me and put me on a temporary, low dose of Lexapro. I think I took it for 6 months.
My advice would be when your body starts sending you messages that it’s on overload, listen. If you can’t get things under control yourself, see a counseler or your family physician.
Paramedics said I was ok but said I was tired and suggested warm bath. I'm an asthmatic and as of two years ago I do have diagnosis of heart disease. I'm 55. Never married, never had children. My mother easily triggers my startle responses and we live together.
Today I cheered myself up a bit imagining buying MYSELF a mother's day gift. I may even shop a mother's day card for ME.
I have not seen doctors yet to start checkup after what happened, but I talked to friends and we all agree it's a sign not to push myself so hard.
I was prescribed ativan, the lowest dose and Effexor, lowest dose. I've been really trying to wean off of them cause they can really mess you up and you lose the ability to cope naturally which isn't good.
This whole business with my brother has raised a lot of the issues that were prevalent when my mom was in nursing care. My family just seems to scatter. No one communicates properly. It's like dealing with a bunch of children truly.
Sendme, a valuable contributor on here gave me some good advice. She said "don't go through your siblings for info. on your brother. Communicate with the hospital and doctors/nurses directly." That's what I've been doing and it works for me. They all have phones and they can do the same.
Cause dealing with sibs really raise the anxiety issues for me.
I remembered another time. After Dad passed away a day or two after the funeral my sister and our husbands decided to clear out Dad’s apartment rather than pay for the next months rent. I had basically same symptoms. Queasy, sweaty, confused, tight chest. I hadn’t eaten in who knows when, I had been surviving on coffee mostly. Anyway, they got me out of Dads apartment. I started feeling better, then I ate and recovered completely.
It's interesting. I wonder if it was my brain or body that was overloaded or both?
My body and brain doesn’t seem to have the tolerance for stress that it once had, before caregiving. When my life gets stressful I wake up at 3:30am. It’s always 3:30am. Sometimes I can go back to sleep, sometimes I can’t.
In fact do you have any help? Are there any plans for grandma to be placed? You need to care for yourself.
I think anxiety goes along with this labor of love. And I know that I stay in prayer mode most of that day and that is the only way I make it, through.
Best wishes to you, May God help you through these times.
I went for cognitive training and one thing I learned that has helped me when I start to feel one coming on is focus on something if you can. Anything. Look at something totally unrelated to you and concentrate on it. Like, oh look at the cloud, the shape of it, what does it look like. I know it sounds dumb but I find it works. Plus knowing that in the past when I've had one that I didn't die and remembering that cause when you are in the midst of one that is what makes it spiral out of control. So just remind yourself that you won't die. You didn't last time.