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Medicaid varies from State to State. See what is available for help as your Dad really needs more hands-on help for your Mom. Don't be surprised if Medicaid sends a caregiver just for a few hours each day or week. It all depends on the State's program. State usually will pay for a family member (you) to be your Mom's caregiver for a limited number of hours each week, usually at minimum wage (there are only 8 States that will pay a Spouse to be the caregiver).
Is your Dad able to get a good night sleep? If not, then he would need to consider having an over-night caregiver. Sleep is so very important when one is the main caregiver. Lack of sleep can do damage to one's health.
My dad does get sleep. My mom’s medication technically should help with sleep as well, and she does, for the most part.
I really do wish I understood why they shred things. What on earth is going on in their brains when they pick up a piece of meat? Do they think "Guess I'll just tear this to bits today?" Or "I like the feel of shredded toilet paper, so I'm going to make myself feel good by tearing up a whole roll?" If anyone knows how this occurs to them, lots of them, all over the world, I wish you'd enlighten the rest of us!
What happens at night? I gave up when my mother needed to be supervised at random intervals in the night. Your mom needs constant 24/7 supervision. Time to consider a care home. The fecal contamination is disturbing and unsafe for ALL of you.
Sorry - I snort laughed at her shredding the meat. I bought a box of frozen chicken breasts and the photo on the box showed them cooked - a serving suggestion. My mother moved the box to her fridge and started eating them. Amazed she wasn’t ill.
The issues with placing in a home… she’s constantly searching for my dad. Can’t be away for too long and causes immense stress when she is (though she hates him!!). And then there’s finances… can’t afford to pay out of pocket for a facility. We are working with an elder attorney to get Medicaid. Once that kicks in, more round the clock care will be affordable and that will be the first step before an ALF.
And since dementia only gets worse and never better, it really is time to have your mom placed in a memory care facility, where her behaviors can be better monitored and her medications adjusted as needed.
And where your dad can get back to just being her husband and advocate and not her overwhelmed caregiver.
Your mom is no longer safe at home, and placement in a facility needs to be made sooner than later.
Is it just you and your dad? You really need an army to keep these more active Alzheimer's patient safe. I hope you have help.
If it is not a UTI infection, your family needs to decide if it is time for a memory care facility or nursing home. I know this isn't what most family want, but please note, if your Dad is your Mom's main caregiver, there is a 40% chance he could pass from the physical and emotional stress of doing the caregiving. From a previous post you had written, sounds like he is very overwhelmed. Then, if you take over for your Mom's care, then that 40% is now on you. Not good odds.
Lots to think about.