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Offer food. But never force.
If she is having problems with utensils finger foods are great.
Watch for "pocketing" of food.
You may have to mince or puree foods.
Start with her larger most calorie dense meal in the morning.
And...give her what she wants. If she will eat a bowl of ice cream for "dinner" let her have ice cream.
Oh..if and or when she stops eating and drinking PLEASE do not have a feeding tube placed. They can cause more problems than they solve and can lead to pain or discomfort. If her body can not process the food it can cause blockages or if it causes her to vomit that can lead to aspiration pneumonia.
Please don't waste your time worrying about such a non-issue when I'm sure you have many more important things to be concerned about. She'll be just fine if she doesn't eat any dinner.
I think it is unfair to bother elders about what and how often and when they are eating. It is much like the bullying that happens often enough to little children that makes food a trial rather than a joy and often has lifelong repercussions for them. My advice with your Mom is to allow her to eat what she likes, how often and whatever amounts she likes.
To naysayers: yeah, I know, it may not be right for many, but it's worked for me. I do have a snack during the day sometimes. Since I'm still here at 86, which I didn't expect to be for sure, I must have done something right.
She is nearly 95. This is not the same as getting a child to finish their food if they want a treat afterwards. Please take her age into consideration and allow her some autonomy in her life.
If you are worried about mom's caloric intake--I can tell you that elderly, very immobile people can live for a very long time on what it basically starvation diet. My MIL has been eating around 300-400 calories a day for 9 months. She's still here and actually, doing pretty well. The Hospice nurses all told us that she couldn't subsist in so little, but truth is, we fully expect her to live another year.
Leave her alone. Not worth one second of a 'battle'. Forcing her to eat could make the situation worse. She's fine. Just make sure she's hydrated, that's more important than eating anyway.
they both really like ice cream these days. My mother also likes small snacks during the during the day. She eats a lot of nuts which are high in calories. My father likes pastina soup and that’s about it aside from the ice cream. He just does not want to eat any more. It has been months now that he’s eating like this but he is none the worse for it.
It’s more important that they keep hydrated. Getting my mother to drink enough water is more of a concern to me.
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