By proceeding, I agree that I understand the following disclosures:
I. How We Work in Washington. Based on your preferences, we provide you with information about one or more of our contracted senior living providers ("Participating Communities") and provide your Senior Living Care Information to Participating Communities. The Participating Communities may contact you directly regarding their services. APFM does not endorse or recommend any provider. It is your sole responsibility to select the appropriate care for yourself or your loved one. We work with both you and the Participating Communities in your search. We do not permit our Advisors to have an ownership interest in Participating Communities.
II. How We Are Paid. We do not charge you any fee – we are paid by the Participating Communities. Some Participating Communities pay us a percentage of the first month's standard rate for the rent and care services you select. We invoice these fees after the senior moves in.
III. When We Tour. APFM tours certain Participating Communities in Washington (typically more in metropolitan areas than in rural areas.) During the 12 month period prior to December 31, 2017, we toured 86.2% of Participating Communities with capacity for 20 or more residents.
IV. No Obligation or Commitment. You have no obligation to use or to continue to use our services. Because you pay no fee to us, you will never need to ask for a refund.
V. Complaints. Please contact our Family Feedback Line at (866) 584-7340 or
[email protected] to report any complaint. Consumers have many avenues to address a dispute with any referral service company, including the right to file a complaint with the Attorney General's office at: Consumer Protection Division, 800 5th Avenue, Ste. 2000, Seattle, 98104 or 800-551-4636.
VI. No Waiver of Your Rights. APFM does not (and may not) require or even ask consumers seeking senior housing or care services in Washington State to sign waivers of liability for losses of personal property or injury or to sign waivers of any rights established under law.I agree that: A.I authorize A Place For Mom ("APFM") to collect certain personal and contact detail information, as well as relevant health care information about me or from me about the senior family member or relative I am assisting ("Senior Living Care Information"). B.APFM may provide information to me electronically. My electronic signature on agreements and documents has the same effect as if I signed them in ink. C.APFM may send all communications to me electronically via e-mail or by access to an APFM web site. D.If I want a paper copy, I can print a copy of the Disclosures or download the Disclosures for my records. E.This E-Sign Acknowledgement and Authorization applies to these Disclosures and all future Disclosures related to APFM's services, unless I revoke my authorization. You may revoke this authorization in writing at any time (except where we have already disclosed information before receiving your revocation.) This authorization will expire after one year. F.You consent to APFM's reaching out to you using a phone system than can auto-dial numbers (we miss rotary phones, too!), but this consent is not required to use our service.
*If I am consenting on behalf of someone else, I have the proper authorization to do so. By clicking Get My Results, you agree to our
Privacy Policy. You also consent to receive calls and texts, which may be autodialed, from us and our customer communities. Your consent is not a condition to using our service. Please visit our
Terms of Use. for information about our privacy practices.
My ex after the divorce had to deal with managing his anger. He couldn't admit that he was at fault and was furious he couldn't find a way to blame everything on me even though deep down he knew he was the one who screwed up. A therapist told him as much. These issues are yours, not your siblings. Work on yourself before it comes to your siblings no longer wanting to be around you.
You obviously have a lot of pent up anger which sounds like it goes WAY back and not just related to your current situation with your mother, so again I would ask what happened in your life long ago to cause such anger to be buried in your heart?
The Bible says that out of the heart the mouth speaks, so this sounds like a heart issue that really needs to be addressed.
So I do hope that you'll seek out professional therapy ASAP, to get to the bottom of your anger issues and the fact that you feel you must lie.
There is a lot to unpack there, and I hope you'll be brave enough to do just that.
Anger is a normal emotion. Very useful (to prompt changes) & needed at times (for defence).
The thing is to have a way to express anger that is to SAFER for you & others: avoid embaressment, avoid damage to relationships, avoid others to fear you.
I used a lot of picture charts for my son who struggled with anger & many other emotions. A bit kiddy, but bear with me.. there was this Incrediable 5 Point Scale book. My kids learnt to identify what level they were at. Either by different colours (red: exlpode) or number, then eventually by words.
Something like;
5. 🤬 Explosive, furious
4. 😡 Angry, hot mad
3. 😠 Frustrated, stressed out
2. 😤 Annoyed, dissapointed, upset
1. 😌 Calm, relaxed
I used it too & still do in a way..
It helped me to take the time out, get back to 1 or 2 before re-engaging with people in a calmer, more effective way. Assertive, if needed. (Tone of voice was another scale: meek, quiet, normal, assertive, aggressive)
Just last Friday I woke up annoyed, at 2. So it was only a tiny thing that pushed me to 3. I took a walk to the furtherest bathroom to calm down before I hit 4. Splashed water on my face, did some stretches (I find something physical helps). When back down to 2. I returned. On coming home I took a long walk & a long bath to get completely back to 1.
So I think the skill in self-regulation is knowing when to walk away for 5 mins. Know when to walk away & know when to run. (Praise to the mighty Kenny).
Others, like my son & myself are like rockets.
Wheat, if you too are a rocket, you need a way to move your body to a safe zone FAST. Before you explode.
I admire you for wanting to change and trying to figure out how to do so. All of this is very hard, I know. Emotions run high and lashing out feels easier to do than drawing closer together as siblings to deal with mom as a team. And lean on one another in the process. You're all hurting right now, why not share the pain rather than suffer alone?
" I lose my temper, especially when I am caught lying, or when I become frustrated, or when I fail to do something I should have done. Then the aggrieved party, one of my siblings, challenges me and I just get angry and swear and generally behave in a very childish manner".
You title your post "Anger toward Siblings" yet what you express is that they are angry at you for wrongdoing you recognize as wrongdoing. So there is something going on here. You may indeed be VERY angry at them. The question for exploration is WHY?
I think it is important for you to explore with expert help (psychologist--a good one in private practice) why you feel a need to lie and why you are failing to do things you should do. What is causing you to be stuck in childishness?
We are just a Forum of strangers who don't know you at all and we couldn't possibly hazard a guess. You are indeed harming and upsetting your family, but more than that you are letting yourself down, and you are fully aware that you are.
Good luck in exploring what might be going on here, Wheat. You and your entire family will be very grateful for your getting expert advice and help. I wish you the best.