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Eventually, I moved him to one of our rental properties and hired a live in nurse, he remained there until he was placed in Hospice and died shortly thereafter.
I don't have any advice to offer. I would ask...have you looked into placing him somewhere? If I hadn't moved my husband out of the house I would have ended up in the looney bin, his disease took me down to my knees. I have recovered and would never home care take again, recently placed my step-father and his wife, and mother in different AL homes, I am helping them from an arms length away.
I wish you the best!
Are you living in a home that you own or an apartment?
Is the person you talk about your spouse? How old is this person? What medical/mental problems do they have (other than being abusive and dementia/ALZ)?
Have you contacted social services and talked to anyone about applying for Medicaid for yourself and allowing the other person to become a ward of the county so you no longer have to care for them?
Have you considered moving to a women's shelter temporarily?
When you say "we", who else are you living with/caring for?
Wishing you rest and peace and hope!
Do a search on this site for Medicaid. You'll find many threads and articles on this topic.