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During the hospital stay he started refusing to eat. In an attempt to feed him, he aspirated. After testing determined that he was having difficulty swallowing, staff recommendation was, of course, to insert a feeding tube. We were informed that no rehab/SN facility would accept him after discharge without this procedure.
Fortunately, a local Hospice accepted Dad and cared for him according to his previously recorded wishes. We do not consider that Dad was slowly starving to death, but instead was comfortably allowed to leave this life without medical interference that would prolong his suffering.
At first it was a difficult decision to make, but we are glad that we were able to grant Dad the dignified passing that he requested.
I do have providers that come in to assist with her care. But they are only there for a paycheck!!! I have my 25 year old daughter staying with my mother and she is at her wits end with all that is going on. Does anyone have any suggestions that I really could use?
When a person such as your dad has dementia, over time they WILL forget how to chew and swallow. For some, they may regain these skills (my mom did after a hospitalization where my sister demanded a feeding tube- luckly for Mom it wasn't in her living will- which made it easier for me to deal with the doctor and NOT have a tube put in place). Mom then went on a diet of blended food and progressed to real food and did well for 10 more years. I say well because she was still with me and I had round the clock care in my home. Frankly, knowing my mother- the last thing she would have wanted was to spend down her childrens inheritence for her care- at this point in her life. The reason that I'm sharing this with you is that a person with dementia,now has a progressive, irreversable brain disorder and that over time, the body will naturally shut down. When that happens, it is a good goodbye. Over the years and working with different hospice agencies I had the opportunity to understand what tube feeding is and how it affects the body.- which is not alsways pleasent. Many nursing homes and ALF's use tube feedings to cut down on the time it takes to actually feed a person- it's for their convience and not in the patients best interest. Nobody HAS to have a feeding tube. Feeding tubes may prolong life for the person but may also prolong suffering. Feeding tubes are often a cultural or religious issue. I look at this as a quality of life issue. Food is love. When a person stops wanting to eat I often wonder if out of love, they are letting us know that it is time to let go.
I don't know where you live or your circumstance and beliefs. The best advice I can give you is to speak with your local hospice- they have clergy, social workers and RN's that work as a team and will best help guide you. G-d bless
What's in: mashed potatoes, puddings, applesauce, cranberry sauce, chopped veggies and chopped meat. What's Out: Pastries! bread with liquids ( the bread expands), peanutbutter, elbow macaroni or "ringed" macaroni, anything that expands.
patient had to have a shower twice a week is not true. As long as you give her a good sponge bath each morning (when you aren't giving her the shower), once a week is fine. I give my m-i-l a good sponge bath every morning except her shower morning. Elderly people don't sweat as much because they are not as active as we younger people are.
To the person who said to hand-feed the elderly Alzheimer's patient, I wouldn't do it. If that person gets to the point where they continue not to eat by themselves, they need to go into a nursing home. I hand-fed my m-i-l last winter and she got used to it. I eventually kept Ensure in the house to feed her meals. Ensure is supposed to take the place of a meal but I limited the Ensure to once a day and pureed the other hot meal. I didn't have too much trouble with brkfst. After so long, she went into the hospital and then the nursing home for rehabilitation. She was eating whole food again within a week of her coming home from nh.
http://www.alzheimersreadingroom.com/2010/02/alzheimers-are-feeding-tubes-good.html
An elderly person living with a younger person (daughter, son, caregiver etc.) should always be provided for> meals have to be served to them and bath/shower water started for them before they enter the bath. Clothes should be selected for them, and they should be groomed by the person caring for them. It was an absolute joy taking care of my husband during the last two years of his life. What I wouldn't give to have him back home here again.
The more you learn and know about this disease, the better you will be prepared. You seem to be off to a good start, by entering your question in this online forum.
Once again--Good luck :-)
Hap!
Eating and dementia is often an eiither good or bad mix- it seems that you are now in the bad mix area. People with dementia are still with us so now you will have to try to figure out why mom doesn't want to eat.Knowing the stages of dementia is good, but most people travel within several stages daily. She may need food that is easy to eat such as finger food or she may no longer like what is being served. Give her two choices of meals that you can easily prepare.
Some people no matter what stage they are in may have swallowing problems. Have the doctor order a swallowing test. Sometimes a person may need to start again with pureed food and then gradually move back to table food.
What is going on when the meal is being served? A person with dementia might not remember what is in front of them. They may look to you for clues as to what to do. They may just need a gentle start from you. They may be confused as to which utencil to use. Place the fork or spoon in their hand. If needed- hand feed them.
Keep mealtime simple. Focus on eating. If you are hand feeding mom keep encouraging her and when the food is in her mouth rub your index finger on her cheek to encourage swallowing.
Hope this helps.
Good luck~
Hap