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I do not understand why you had to sign as responsible party if your mother was competent and you did not even have POA. You really need to contact an attorney who specializes in Elder Law in your State. Most will give you a free consultation and tell you how to proceed on your own. Don't know how much you still owe the Private Pay Home but if it is a large sum, the Attorney might charge a modest fee to lower the amount you owe or have the Nursing Home write it off. Do not ignore it because this will affect your credit score and even future job prospects. Remember that Collection Agencies neither want to know or care about your particular circumstances. They just want the money. Right now the law is on their side. You need to change that as soon as you can. I think you have a good case, but I am not an Attorney and I am not familiar with Medicaid rules in your State.
I wanted to update you and let you know that I found a convalescent hospital that will do the paperwork to get my mom on medical. I went to see the place monday and it was really nice. They told me I could bring her in wednesday, which I did. I was so shocked - finally someone was helping me. It was actually referred to me by her secure horizons. Now she will disenroll in secure horizons and they will apply for medical and she will have medicare/medical. It was hard to tell her and of course she doesn't remember being told and kept thinking she was going to be able to go home and get her stuff. We had packed it the night before, but she didn't remember. I took her yesterday morning, the place is only 3 miles from my house. Went back at 6 last night and she seems to be doing so good, being around people her own age is really improtant I think. All she did before was watch tv and stare into space.
you might be able to get some help from your employer. Try this resource:
John Paul Marosy is founder and president of Bringing Elder Care Home. He is a former family caregiver and has served as CEO of leading organizations in the fields of aging and home health care. He provides education, training, and corporate consulting with respect to the growing issue of balancing elder care in the work place.
I know exactly how you feel. I too promised dad that I would take care of mom. She reminds me every week that I said that I would never put her in a nursing home. Mt words have come back to bite me. I have learned never to make promises like that sinceI can't tell what the circumstances will be in the future. Glad to hear that you are getting help!! Be tough and don't take no for an answer.
Good luck
Linda
My heart goes out to you. I know exactly what you mean about the guilt, guilt for not doing enough, guilt for the resentment, guilt for the anger, guilt for impatience. I think anyone in our position has to deal with the guilt thing. Someone once told me to chill on the guilt, that I'm only human with all the weaknesses and foibles that go along with being human. If we didn't feel guilt, we'd be aliens or something! You are doing what you can within your own level of emotional strength, and you can only give so much. I know my well of giving and compassion isn't bottomless, and there are times when I just run out of steam. So you aren't alone, and you are NOT a bad person for feeling the way you do. Hang in there!
Linda
My dad was in hospice and had his bodily functions. Can you get another opinion? Pop was in hospice for 16 months. If another doctor refers him, will that help? God Bless
Linda
Hugh