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Louise, I think you are wise to keep out of it. If you are in your 30s, Mom can not be much older than her 60s maybe early 70s. That really isn't old. What do you actually need to to for her. Are there things you do for her that she can do for herself. A while back a poster asked if she was enabling her Mom. A reply said not enabling but disabling.
If u can afford to move out, do it. You may be surprised what she can do once on her own. If ur from the UK, Country Mouse maybe able to help u find resources for her.
Tell her there is a safety issue with the place. A repair will fix problems.
You and partner need to be in the position to help or it will feel more and more like servitude as her needs grow. Stay healthy and find work.
So, from what I can glean:
Your partner lives with his mother in a rented property.
The property has been in poor condition for some time.
The landlord has now at least fixed the boiler, which is something.
You moved in - when? From where? Why?
Apart from the car, what sort of items is your partner's mother expecting to hang on to when he and you move out?
Not in too much detail, but it would be helpful to know roughly where you are - which country, at least.
I wouldn't expect an otherwise healthy man in his 30s to contract pneumonia, no matter how argumentative his mother was. Does your partner have underlying health difficulties?
Your partner’s mom sounds like she is controlling and manipulative? Am I right?
Is she blackmailing you?
I think you should move if you can find an affordable place.
Can you explain more about the son being in the hospital?
Does your partners mom need your help or you hers? It’s hard to tell from your post.
If you are providing care, you need a caregivers contract. You and your partner need to be paid. Then you can buy your own necessities. Were the gifts she gave for payment of care?
Depending on your states tenancy laws, she can’t put you out without evicting you. Look up the eviction laws for your state.
What health issues does she have that require your assistance. It sounds like it may be too difficult a case for your partner. I know it’s hard To be independent with Covid. Hopefully things will be better in a few months.
If you and your partner are able bodied folks in your early 30s, I encourage you to be out seeking your own fortunes as soon as possible.
If her issue is dementia, remember...she has dementia. She will not get better. She has lost the ability to reason. Give more information for more detailed answers.
I hope your partners health improves soon.
Mum, in hospital, and boiler rather than Mom, in the hospital, and furnace or heater.