By proceeding, I agree that I understand the following disclosures:
I. How We Work in Washington. Based on your preferences, we provide you with information about one or more of our contracted senior living providers ("Participating Communities") and provide your Senior Living Care Information to Participating Communities. The Participating Communities may contact you directly regarding their services. APFM does not endorse or recommend any provider. It is your sole responsibility to select the appropriate care for yourself or your loved one. We work with both you and the Participating Communities in your search. We do not permit our Advisors to have an ownership interest in Participating Communities.
II. How We Are Paid. We do not charge you any fee – we are paid by the Participating Communities. Some Participating Communities pay us a percentage of the first month's standard rate for the rent and care services you select. We invoice these fees after the senior moves in.
III. When We Tour. APFM tours certain Participating Communities in Washington (typically more in metropolitan areas than in rural areas.) During the 12 month period prior to December 31, 2017, we toured 86.2% of Participating Communities with capacity for 20 or more residents.
IV. No Obligation or Commitment. You have no obligation to use or to continue to use our services. Because you pay no fee to us, you will never need to ask for a refund.
V. Complaints. Please contact our Family Feedback Line at (866) 584-7340 or
[email protected] to report any complaint. Consumers have many avenues to address a dispute with any referral service company, including the right to file a complaint with the Attorney General's office at: Consumer Protection Division, 800 5th Avenue, Ste. 2000, Seattle, 98104 or 800-551-4636.
VI. No Waiver of Your Rights. APFM does not (and may not) require or even ask consumers seeking senior housing or care services in Washington State to sign waivers of liability for losses of personal property or injury or to sign waivers of any rights established under law.I agree that: A.I authorize A Place For Mom ("APFM") to collect certain personal and contact detail information, as well as relevant health care information about me or from me about the senior family member or relative I am assisting ("Senior Living Care Information"). B.APFM may provide information to me electronically. My electronic signature on agreements and documents has the same effect as if I signed them in ink. C.APFM may send all communications to me electronically via e-mail or by access to an APFM web site. D.If I want a paper copy, I can print a copy of the Disclosures or download the Disclosures for my records. E.This E-Sign Acknowledgement and Authorization applies to these Disclosures and all future Disclosures related to APFM's services, unless I revoke my authorization. You may revoke this authorization in writing at any time (except where we have already disclosed information before receiving your revocation.) This authorization will expire after one year. F.You consent to APFM's reaching out to you using a phone system than can auto-dial numbers (we miss rotary phones, too!), but this consent is not required to use our service.
*If I am consenting on behalf of someone else, I have the proper authorization to do so. By clicking Get My Results, you agree to our
Privacy Policy. You also consent to receive calls and texts, which may be autodialed, from us and our customer communities. Your consent is not a condition to using our service. Please visit our
Terms of Use. for information about our privacy practices.
It can really help to get some perspective.
I think your next moves could include getting some specific professional advice on;
1. Medical, especially competency.
2. Legal, especially re POA
Regarding Dementia: it is an umbrella term, covering many types of conditions causing cognitive deficits.
Alzheimer's Disease is the most common type. While it is good Dad has been cleared of that progressive disease, the bad news is Parkinson's Disease is also progressive. It brings cognitive changes (& often dementia too) along with the more widely recognisable physical symptoms eg shuffle walk, stiffness, shaking.
Taking Dad to see his regular Doctor to discuss his new disgnosis in full, to arrange a needs assessment & obtain a short cognitive screening test may indicate what level he is currently at. Frame it all under *concerns* & wanting better care for him.
. So do I need to get a lawyer for this POA? I had tried to get him to an estate attorney but he refuses. The will is just signed by him no witness nothing just a signed and dated will i had him do since he didnt have anything and he does own a home but has 130,000 in mortgages on it.
Hope that explains things better.
I havnt been out there for 3 days. I was too stressed out and needed to take a break.
Also None of them kno I am dads poa and aps was called a few months back. They came out once and we havnt heard from them since.
Keligrl, are the replies as you had expected? Or wildly different?
Has anything changed - the situation or your thoughts?
Did your stepmother do this? Is that why she died?
And yes, the question of the day (other than why are you doing this) is -- is your father legally mentally incompetent? Because if he is, then he is choosing to live this way, and you should remove yourself entirely from the situation.
They never had to work because my step mom paid for everything now dad says he didnt kno but of course he did i mean how could he not? None of them worked so how did they have has money or get clothes take vacations etc. Of course dad knew. Im just trying to help dad but i guess I am just enabling everyone. And exhausting myself in the meantime.
Enough is enough & the gravy train has just dried up.
Best of luck.
Has Dad been formally diagnosed with Dementia. If so, unless POA is immediate, you will need a doctor or two (read ur POA) to put that in writing so ur POA is in effect. Once you do that, if Dad has no assets other than his monthly income of SS and maybe a pension, apply for Medicaid and get him into LTC (Longterm Care Facility).
His house will be considered an exempt asset as will one car. Since brother has been living there all these years, Medicaid will probably allow him to remain but...brother will not have Dads income because that goes towards Dads care in the LTC facility. So, brother now will need to pay all the bills on the house. Taxes too. If still a Mortgage that too. If he defaults, on the Mortgage and taxes the house will be either taken back by the bank or sold at Sheriffs sale to cover delinquent taxes. But Dad will be safe, clean and cared for.
You are just beating your head against a brick wall trying to change what Dad allowed all these years. Your POA gives you responsibility for Dad. So use your energy on Dad finding him a decent place to be cared for.
You can also contact the lawyer who drafted your father’s POA to establish your current legal status, and if advised by that person, pull your father out and place him in an AL or MC near you.
The important pieces seem to be getting your father out and getting HIS value out of HIS property.
Your father is clearly in an unsafe setting, and safety MUST become your only focus. Are you sure that your daily efforts are not at this point serving to perpetuate the terrible injustice towards your father?
Work to get him out, get whatever value you can get from his real estate, and stop dealing with the messes.
No wonder this is taking a toll on you. YOU ARE IN THE RIGHT in this. TAKE A STAND, and give yourself the credit for doing it.
You and your father deserve better.
I mean, Dad *could* move somewhere new.. on his own.. then sell his house - IF he wanted, right? Extreme way to rid oneself of tennants, sure, but has been done before.
Or is the Dementia &/or Parkinson's (as mentioned in profile) at a level to make him unable to. If so, if his care needs are not being met - report to APS as a vulnerable adult.
There are four adults living in that house, five if the nephew qualifies, and it's an arrangement that your father has been accepting for decades - so certainly long before he can have developed any mental incapacity issues. Why are you the visiting housekeeper, and how did this become your mess to sort out?
If I were you I think I'd resign my POA and stay out of it. Why should you accept responsibility for a situation you didn't create and can't control?
This isn’t an argument you can win, unless you can implement the POA over your father’s head, and live with the family consequences. However you can win by stopping what you do to prop it all up. Leave it to get in a complete mess for a month, then call APS about your father’s situation. Let APS be the ones to say that he needs to sell the house, and move to somewhere with adequate care. You may need legal help further on the track, but while you prop up the whole thing, nothing is going to change.
If you explain in advance to your father that this is your only option, it's even possible that he might make a stand himself - perhaps after two or three weeks when he sees that you are serious. Don't argue with him or any of them, just do it,