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If dad is at the point where he's hurting you by hitting you, pinching you, twisting your arms and fingers while using the toilet, and breaking the seal to boot, two things need to happen in my opinion. One, he needs calming meds prescribed by his doctor. Why allow him to be THIS agitated when there is Ativan to relax him? My mother had good success with that med during her worst Sundowning episodes.
Secondly, you can dress dad in Alzheimer's anti strip clothing available on Amazon and Depends and not offer him use of the toilet or the commode. Let him use the briefs to urinate and defecate in until and unless he is calm enough to use the toilet w/o hurting you or breaking it. There has to be some line you draw about what constitutes "too much" in terms of in home care and what's tolerable. If you reach the point where dad's care is no longer manageable at home, get him placed in a hospice facility or SNF for end of life care.
Wishing you the best of luck with all of this.
I would also suggest a set bathroom schedule so that he gets used to going to the bathroom and it is not a rushed task.
And when he does go to the bathroom give him time.
Do you know why he is hitting and reluctant to have you help? Is he afraid? embarrassed? Would he accept help from a man, or a hired caregiver?