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One could threaten her Visitor, however , that could only work until the Next "suitor" comes along.
Don't know what you can do if this has been a long-term romance. Chances are it would greatly upset your Mom-in-law is he doesn't return to see her. He may be married or a widower. Put on your detective hat. If you find out his name, just type the name into Google and up will pop a storehouse of info (not all is accurate, type in your own name and you will see how crazy some of the info). If you find out the wife's name, you can Google "Jane Doe, obituary town, state name" to see if she had passed (note, not everyone has an obituary).
There really isn't much you can do to stop this. These kinds of relationships happen all the time in memory care and nursing home facilities.
Get your MIL tested reguarly for STD's though. That's important.
The facility is not going to do anything about it. They should because people with dementia cannot give consent, but they don't.
Daughter says it does happen but not that often. And she had worked several NHs and ALs.
It’s not unusual for relationships to develop between residents with dementia in a facility . I wouldn’t want it happening to me if I was a resident there , but that’s a whole other discussion .
Maybe I’m reading this wrong , but I read it as he’s a visitor who does not live there. You say “ this man continues to visit her”.
However , IMO , if this is a visitor from the outside , this married man presumably without dementia , is taking advantage of a woman who may not fully comprehend that he is cheating on his wife . Who knows what he is telling her, he may say his wife is dead .
If I was you , I would go all big brother / or big sister on this guy as if he was taking advantage of a much younger teen sister of yours . Tell him to stop .
I would be questioning his motives for sure especially if your Mom has any money . Sorry but this sounds fishy to me . If this guy doesn’t have dementia then he is an opportunistic married cheater , taking advantage of a woman with dementia. That is appalling.
And I agree that your MIL needs to be tested for STI’s . Who knows how many this guy as cheated with while married .
Also see if administration is willing to help stop it .
Does someone have POA? The POA may be able to ban this person from visiting your MIL .
I have a friend who had been married for 20 years. His wife went into memory care, and when he would visit her, she would regale him with tales of her wonderful boyfriend...who lived down the hall.
My great aunt and uncle were in a shared room until she passed away. Not long after her death, my uncle awoke to one of his female neighbors in his bed.
What can you do? Talk to the administration. If you feel that "shenanigans" have occurred- I know you don't want to hear this - but you might consider having them test her for STDs.
The administration will be able to tell you whether there are options such as installing cameras that might be an option (but that would only apply to your MIL's room). There may be other options such as moving one of them away to another wing or something similar.
But as far as stopping it entirely - I hate to say this but it may not be completely possible to stop it entirely.
I hope this isn't coming off as insensitive in anyway. Certainly if you think she is in danger there must be things that can be done to ensure her safety. It is just not likely that potentially moving her somewhere else will change the dynamic.
People with memory issues and dementia CAN become hypersexual as well. There may be options there that the doctor can be involved in.
These "special friendships " are exceptionally common in care facilities.