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‘Make for yourself a check list before a call or visit. Don’t arrive with a to do list on parade. (thats what I regret}. Ask after her health and those she communicates with that you don’t. Pay her a compliment. Tell her a joke. If that doesn’t work, ask for a smile. That’s one of my favorite memories of my mom near the end the sweet smile given upon request. Hard to do on a regular phone call. Maybe a FaceTime? Seek her advice. How did you keep your crust from becoming soggy when you made your cobbler? DH is becoming forgetful. How did you handle that with dad? Make sure she feels better after your visit than before. Sometimes she might need a minute to unload all the ‘stuff’ before she can enjoy herself. Allow her that. You have agingcare for that. She probably doesn’t have that type release. All there is in this life reduces to love or fear. Give her a little love. That will help you both.
Depressed, severely, for most of my life, she proudly never 'needed' antidepressants. Well, 5/6 of her kids did, that's a bit telling. At 90, she told me the other day she is totally content to live out her life in within her '4 walls'--which is her small apartment in YB's house. Basically told me to quit trying to clean for her, her house didn't get dirty (!) and she didn't want ANYONE touching her things.
I can respect that, and do. No more trying to 'better' her life. She'll probably live 10 more years, She's already outlived one of her children, I wouldn't be surprised if she outlives more of us.
Really, there is nothing I can do, and nothing I plan to do for her.
So, without something more than a 'header' with no details whatsoever, nobody can really assess your situation and give you helpful advice. You may want to expand on your question.
Then do come back and tell US, and we can all troubleshoot together.
I will ask you the one objective question I can think of. Was your Mom a whole lot different in the past, a happy, satisfied, life-affirming woman? And when would you say the change, if change there is, occurred?