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Maybe he's feeling out of sorts in a new place/new city...but it's important not to accept his new angry personality and get to the heart of things now in a candid, caring conversation so he doesn't get used to treating you as such and it becomes all too familiar.
Well, since this is a new environment that you both moved to, maybe it's the adjustment of a new place, new people, finding a new schedule, etc - I think sometimes, some men aren't the easiest with any types of change. Were you more interested in moving than he was? Did you ask him if he's happy living there now? And if you are newly retired, are both of you spending more time together than previously?
Hopefully, he'll eventually adjust...and if there's any chance you can find social activities for the of you and also meeting other couples to go out with, maybe that can help the process. If he continues to be difficult to live with, you shouldn't have to be made unhappy like that....and perhaps it's time to be more assertive and suggest couples therapy - if he can't be kind to you.
Wishing you all the best :-)
People with Alzheimer's/dementia do tend to mirror our moods as well, so try your best to stay calm and as positive as possible. And make sure that you're getting away to do things for yourself, as your self care is just as important as his care.
And please call 911 if you ever feel that you are in any kind of physical danger.
Is his doctor aware of this? And has this increased recently?
If it is a recent increase and there are other things that you have noticed you could have him checked for a UTI.
But this can be an indication of a decline.
PLEASE be aware that this is NOT your fault, it is the disease.
Also PLEASE keep yourself safe.
If at anytime he becomes violent you MUST leave the room and you should call 911 and tell the dispatcher that you are being threatened. Let them know that the person threatening you has dementia and you request that they transport him to the hospital.
If you do not feel that you can care for him safely and this is YOUR safety you need to talk to the Social Worker and tell them that he can not be discharged to home as it is not safe.
Please keep in mind that if he harms YOU who will care for you and for him while you recover, if you recover.
(a friend of mine awoke with her husbands one hand wrapped around her neck and a knife in his other hand ready to stab her. She is also permanently disabled after he threw her against a wall. This is not something that you want to ignore.)
Please stay safe.
His illnesses will only get worse and quite frankly, he doesn't get to use you as his doormat or scratching post unless you allow it.
You don't deserve to be mistreated because he is sick.
You matter too!
I don’t know how cognizant he is, or if even his can discern what is wrong. If not, best to bring it up with his doctor and give as much information as possible (record logs of when it started, and the behaviors you have seen since the changes began).
In the meantime, remember to take care of yourself. There are lots of changes that can happen to a person. If these behaviors are not usual for him, try not to take them personally.