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The assisted living place where my Dad is currently - is a totally dementia facility where everything from the way it's laid out, to the decoration and lighting is done with dementia residents in mind. The whole staff is trained on how to converse with, manage and redirect dementia residents. They have more knowledge and skill plus 24/7 expertise - than any other one person (me or my sister) could have individually. They make their every day a successful and joyful one.
That said, he only wants to be home. He's only been there a week. The staff tell us he's very happy except when we visit - because we remind him of his way to go home. The staff nurse advises us, though, that when he advances to his next stage of dementia, he won't remember this initiation part. That makes it a little easier, though not easy yet.
Your life shouldn't have to be "putting out fires" trying to run interference between your Mom and the rest of your family or feeling like you have to apologize for having the lion's share of the care responsibility because your siblings aren't more involved. Would it be possible to have a "family meeting" and, at least, get their support for placing your Mom? I can't help but believe, that in her past right mind, she wouldn't have wanted to put such a strain on your life. Being a mother and a wife and working full time is enough of a job for any superwoman.
Good luck with your Mom, siblings and family. Bigsister
What are you really asking? Should you move her into a nursing home or assisted living facility to get peace back in your house?
Each of us here on this site have come to our own conclusions. None of them easy and none of them without tears. It is something that we can support you and completely understand the level of difficulty you are experiencing.
Do not be afraid to ask for help, vent or for experiences. There are plenty of them out here. Do you really want a life without mother or a life with mother in a different location?