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I would call the vet and tell them you are reporting them for animal cruelty. This dog yelps when she is handled, that means excruciating pain and that means over the top fear.
Please intervene!!!
Vets might not want to suggest euthanasia and it isn't clear cut 100% of the time. I know with doggie dementia this is hard when a dog isn't "physically sick" but is "not there." However, I wanted to be a vet at one time and if I saw an animal that had to lie in his or her waste for a long period of time, I would suggest letting them go. We have to remember that dogs age more rapidly than we do, so a dog that is a medium sized dog and 12 years will be in their late 50s! Crazy, I know, but real love is being strong enough to let someone go. Our pets can't tell us how bad they are hurting or when they're ready to go.
As big as an animal lover as I am, I think it would be kinder for your folks to let the poor dog go. A wheelchair is tough on a dog, especially if they become disabled later in life. Many people use a "drag bag" versus a wheelchair and to me this is just as cruel as the animal will still be in his or her own waste and can develop sores from dragging themselves. If it was a fairly young dog I would say that a wheelchair might be okay, but did you know that the owner still has to help wheelchair bound dogs "void" their bladders?
It breaks my heart to see asinine treatment for any animal that left to its own decision would find a hole and go to rest.
Pretty sad state of affairs when we are not as bright as an animal.
Shame on your in-laws for torturing this poor dog. I hope it dies soon and as peacefully as it can dying in the nut farm.
Vets don't "keep the dogs alive" in the sense to which you are referring. They tell the owner what is wrong with the animal, and then offer the best support they are able to based on whatever decision the owner makes. My vet didn't advise me what to do in each case, he just laid out the diagnoses and our options (with the likely outcomes) and let us decide. Much like a human doctor does with a terminally ill patient.
What I expect happened was your SIL asked the vet if a dog "could" do well with limited use of its back legs, not if their dog "would" do well. And then ran with the answer. Just as people here have done with their human relatives.
When my SIL decided to add a 5th cat to their family, I told her that my son and I would no longer be able to attend functions they were hosting, because we are both allergic, my son being highly so. I said it without rancor or judgement; they can own as many cats as they like, but we will no longer visit. We've held to that line.
Maybe you should consider doing the same, and not attend those function in the same house as the ill, incontinent dog. Save yourself some aggravation.
I am so sorry. I feel sorry for the dog.Their vet is crazy!
Sp was right in that the in-laws project themselves onto the dog.
More on the projecting: Mija was my 17-year-old Chihuahua with kidney failure. I had been giving her sub-q fluids for two months, but she kept losing weight like crazy and was not her spunky "I will kick your butt if you look at me wrong" self. Mark said he couldn't see her on the bed with how skinny she was and how hard it was for her to even lift her head up.
I know of no vet who would keep such an animal going in this manner without the adamant demand of doggy mom and dad to do so. This is exceptionally sad to hear about. This is to my mind the height of selfishness to keep an animal going because we cannot let it go. I hate to say that about someone clearly grieving, but it is what I believe.
Many people will tell you to not euthanize unless there is no other choice, but when a dog's quality of life declines to such an extent that they merely exist, then the most loving thing is to let them have a peaceful death. I have stayed for all my dogs having to be euthanized: Mija, London (I lost them three days apart), Abby, Kawaii (two months apart), Inuyasha, and Polly. It is calm and peaceful.
As others have said, it can be their own fears being reflected in the dog as they age. Mark reflected many of his own fears in the dogs especially those with kidney disease.
#1. Doctors are trained to CURE. They are not taught how to talk to a person, the family about options. I was discussing with a vet when I brought one of my little guys in because of a back issue and they actually told me they are starting a Hospice program for pets. That is a start.
#2. People do not want to "give up".
"We" have been sheltered from death, it seems a taboo subject. Partly due to "modern" medicine and see issue number 1 above. I think that is changing slowly.
I know someone that spent $10000 on treatments, surgery and rehab on their dog. Yup 10 thousand. Now I am a dog lover and it would break my heart to have to make that decision but honestly I can not afford 10K. And there is no assurance things like that would work. And just as with people Quality of life is as important as Quantity of life.
I may be guilty as well. I had a 16 year old German Shepherd she had a lot of problems but she looked at me one day and I just knew it was time.
There are times when you have to let your Head rule your Heart not the other way around.
The poor dog is the only helpless one in this situation because he can't speak up and tell anyone he is in pain and is just done. Though I suspect that when MIL and SIL clean the dog and he yelps that any movements are very painful for the poor dog thus the crying out and yelping.
Your SIL has been enabling the in-laws for years - gotta keep that steady pay check coming in for her, so it makes sense that she is going to do whatever the FIL and MIL want - common sense and common decency be damned.
Right now the only one suffering is that poor dog. The vet can't just take an animal from their owner - no matter how much of a dumb ass they may be. So they can only make suggestions. Though some are in it for the money like your SIL and will continue to recommed treatment and procedure and on and on.
Honestly you are your significant other are the insane ones in this scenario because you stayed for Easter dinner with the smell of poop and urine wafting in the air. Who wants to eat in an environment like that? I would have excused myself from the day and told them the exact reason why. Someone has to be the voice of reason. Too bad it wasn't you and your SO.