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Or they are living their own lives. Live far away. Or they are avoiding the stress of an abusive parent.
My great grandfather lived with my grandparents briefly. My grandparents were still working at the time. He did not need physical help, But they took him in because his memory was bad. I was like 4 not in school yet. After awhile they decided he needed to be checked on mid day. I remember going to my grandmother's house with my Mom and eating lunch with great grandpa.
It didn't go on very long and one day great grandpa went to the hospital and that was that he was gone. I'm guessing heart attack or stroke. I also remember he would speak 1/2 English 1/2 Swedish , but when his memory got worse he only spoke Swedish.
I am caring for my mother Carol, who is 88 years old, living in assisted living with age-related decline, alzheimer's / dementia, anxiety, hearing loss, mobility problems, urinary tract infection, and vision problems.
About Me
Caring for mom and dad. Dad at home and mom was in AL for over 3 years but fell in bathroom (she refuses to push her alert button for assistance) and broke her femur. I live out of state but travel to their state every chance I can.
Take your situation, for example. You aren't as readily available to your parents because you live out of state and do not want to relocate, I would imagine.
I will never understand the people who come to this forum who have given up careers, marriages, or abandoned their own children in deference to their parents. I never would have moved in with mom if it hadn't made sense - I just happened to be between jobs and had no commitments to a partner or children, and because my jobs had always been low wage her ability to provide room and board and a small salary also made sense financially (a win win situation for both of us).
Some have tried again and again to be readily available and their efforts have been rejected or ridiculed.
Some have worked out a system that works just fine for both parties.
So, in summary, this is much like anything else in life, looked at one at a time rather than lumped together and judged as a whole.
Older parents have had their life and now their children have just as much right to have theirs.
Children are NOT ones retirement or care plan.
What do you mean by "readily available"? That our seniors are not living in homes and we're not providing hand-on help ourselves? We're still readily available to them...