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Since my parents had passed in their mid to late 90's, my traveling is going to the grocery store for curbside pickup.... walking is going to the mailbox at the end of the driveway.... dining out is carry-out, etc. Taking care of my parents put a toll on my physical well-being, just don't have the energy and gained too much weight [and here I was a gym rat for about 20 years prior to helping my parents]..... [sigh]. Oh, I kept my job while helping my folks, it gave me sanity.
Of course it won't play like that, not right away at least. First we will have to deal with the loss of our son. As my husband points out, the end of this caregiving comes with sorrow from the loss and the joy of being reunited.
I have to believe we will be okay eventually. I worry more about my youngest sister who has given up a lot of her own life to be my mom's number one caregiver. She got "sucked in" gradually and has begun to express frustration with her life. She works, has her own home and an adult child living at home. The rest of us were able to pressure Mom into a 24/7 professional caregiver a few months back. Sister hasn't dated in years, I'm surprised it took this long for her to feel the resentment.
My mother is 98 in AL, my stepmother is 85 in MC, they both may outlive me.
I DO think it takes time to adjust, as we as human beings are much more driven by habit than we realize. So we can be busy and overwhelmed, and when that is suddenly removed we kind of stand in the middle of the room wondering what to do. Some of us need help to branch out again, to move out into the world, which now looks like a bit of an agorophobia salad.
I think on Forum we have seen all kinds of reactions. The one thing that is certain is that a person who has participated in the decline of a loved one, and the death of same, is permanently changed, whether they did hands on care, managed some finances and placement, or participated very little at all. The loss of our parents, of our siblings, has a profound affect.
For my own case, I had a brother in mid 80s get diagnosed with probable early Lewy's. He had been Hansel to my Gretel in every dark wood of my life, and I his "little sister", 7 years younger. Doing the financial management of his life until he died was a journey for me, from profound anxiety and terror, to learning. But the loss of HIM was the major life changing loss.
I think how we manage the loss of those we love, no matter the caregiving, depends much on how we managed our lives before the events. We HAVE seen some do an incredible nosedive from which they have a terrible time recovering, and often need the psychological support and help available (though at a cost).
I think your question will find us all over the map, and if you read a lot on forum you will bear witness to that.
Thanks for the interesting question and I hope admins move it to "discussions" where I always think things last a lot longer when they are general questions.