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Haven't been on here much but just too darn busy. For those of you that might be interested, my mom moved from LTC to the "dementia unit" in a nursing home 5 minutes away from my house. It is county run so is not so much on the for-profit model which I think is leading to much better care and retention of staff, etc. This dementia unit has all levels, probably starting with 4 or maybe mostly 5 thru 7 (with people in those reclining wheelchairs that are non-verbal, etc. - so sad).
My mom is pretty much pleasantly confused these days so the move has been very easy for her. She was confused and didn't know where she was or why at her last place so it just continues now.
It's been recently renovated with a big addition and it's very bright and shiny. Huge "living room" they use for activities, etc. 28 beds so a really nice size. And it is part of LTC so will be eligible for medic aid if/when she outlives her money.
I met with the nurse manager and put comfort care/palliative orders in place. I feel relieved that they know all my wishes as her POA and that things won't happen that we'll regret later. There are really no changes at this point, but as her condition degrades, these things will become super important.
For Thanksgiving, the family that are coming to my house for Thanksgiving are going to go to her place (reserved a room) with dessert. There's no way she/I could tolerate a day of her being here. Just too many wild cards and it's such a busy day for me having that many people at my house (18, including 8 kiddos 2 - 13 yo - can you say chaos??).
So, just wanted to say things are going well. Sure, the other shoe could drop at any moment but that's the nature of this beast and I'm ok with it.

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Thanks so much for the heartwarming comments! You guys are the best!
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Thank you for your post. May your mom, you and all your family be blessed this Thanksgiving.
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So good to read you have mom in a place you feel good about and she is feeling content. You’re wise to have the plans and wishes clearly in place. Wishing you both peace during the long goodbye
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Thank God you have mom set up in a bright and sunny place, and that she's pleasantly confused enough that it doesn't bother her. I love it when a plan comes together!
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Happy to read this update! Have a happy and peaceful time with all your family!
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So glad you have a plan to care for and yourself in place!
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