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It just means your a good caring person. ❤️
We all vent on here. Go ahead and speak about what’s on your mind. Everyone knows that you have been through a difficult time with Mark. We wish the best for you. Hoping everything will turn out well for you.
I encourage her to move on, myself, and not to confuse the issue for the current POA which I think is Nephew, and for Mark. I will continue to encourage her to do that.
@ Doggiemom: And no, of course not, DoggieMom. We are very interested in all of it, and I for one will love to hear how you get on with the changes for your life. Very. And I will be very relieved for you when you leave Mark's issues in his and his nephew's hands. Too many chef will spoil this stew.
You and Mark were married and in many ways I would bet you are very fond still of one another. I think it's natural you would want to help. But I worry if you get all wound up in it again, when you have done such courageous work to EXTRICATE yourself from this muddle.
So I will continue to advise you to step on and step away to the best of you ability, and I will continue also to care (as I know you do) for how Mark fares. Most of all I hope to hear YOU yourself are moving on and thriving in your new home.
She's the one who continues to post about what is going on, and I get that to some degree she still cares.
And when I mentioned bringing hospice on board I was not implying that she should do that but just mentioning that that may very well be the next step despite Marks determination to keep fighting.
I always advise her to stay out of decisions now that don't concern her any long so that she can get on with her own life. Being drawn back into every step of Mark's ongoing decisions won't be possible for her or even healthy to try as a divorced woman from long distance, just imho.
My late husband had one for the last 2 years of his life, and most nurses didn't know how to change it. In fact when my husband went under hospice care there was only 1 nurse in the whole agency(and it's a large agency) that was comfortable changing it for him.
My husband did occasionally also get UTI's from having it as well.
I can't imagine that Mark will be alive for much longer and it may be time to bring hospice in.
It will come to Mark being in a SNF or LTC and I do not think he wants to face those facts and that his check will be used to pay for his care. I know he is going to try to qualify for Medicaid after our divorce goes through, which should be by September since he would be under the minimum income to do so. We do not have any assets (we rented our home, no boats, no car).
I don't think any of us will say I want to end up in a crappy nursing home when I get old.
That's not on are bucket list of fun things to do! But it happens, it's life ,and it's not your fault doggiemom.
This is on him
So sorry to hear that you are going through all of this. I’m sure that you must be exhausted from dealing with everything.
Wishing you peace. Sending hugs your way.
Too bad Robert isn't bright enough to tell them "Yeah? That's the day you go to jail and can't make bail I guess, huh?"
What they CAN do is send bills, of course.
I hope that Robert is bright enough to be made POA and to keep records.
But what I would caution YOU, Doggie Mom, is to stay out of it.
There is nothing you can do about and for the bad decisions or the good decisions in this either way now. You don't want to be responsible for the former and won't get credit for the latter.
Stay out of it and let them get on with care.
You get on with your new life which has enough in it to put on ANYONE'S plate.
Sure wishing you the best.
Get your divorce. Get your division of finances. Get on with your life and let the two of them manage together any way they can, any way they choose. THEY have AS GOOD LIKELIHOOD of success as were it the other way round and you were taking Mark home.
Anyway, Robert has decided to take Mark into his home. Yes, I know Mark can make his own decisions and I am not caring for him anymore (divorce will take at least sixty days and I have told multiple social workers I cannot care for him). Robert lives ten hours away in an old home that is totally broken down. Mark will probably catch an infection because Robert is a hoarder. Robert rented a U-haul for Mark's stuff and I tried to get Robert to get rid of some stuff. As an example, a very old trophy cabinet that Mark bought way before we married. We had our water heat break at our house and it soaked the floor and walls and we had to have our landlord treat for black mold. This cabinet had major water damage and for all I know mold and the doors won't shut. I told Robert to just take it to the curb. Robert has his 78 year old dad (yes, his father is still working and paying the bills) take it apart and takes it. Is it going to effect me in the long run? No, but I can't believe it.
Anyway, because the rehab is saying they will take away his check Robert is taking him to Edinburg. I have no clue how Mark will make the trip as unstable as he is. He is not critical, but he is still really weak to not being able to even sit up on the side of the bed. He cannot do any daily living activities besides eat by himself (no showering, toileting, mobility, etc). It is crazy. I tried to raise concerns that he will need full-time care, but I was ignored. Nuts as they say, just nuts.
I found out it should be about sixty days for the divorce to go through with a no fault divorce and his social workers are saying the same to him. I am working next with my college to figure out my internship credit as I will not be in TX, but it is the last piece of the puzzle I need to get my certificate in library science. I am done with college after this! Rehab is not very pleased with Mark as he is refusing to do basic therapy saying it hurts too bad. He is mainly just zonked on pain meds these days.
I don't know why your soon to be ex-husbands behavior is shocking to you at this point. It was only a few weeks ago that he said he wasn't going to pay any household bills because he wasn't physically living there at the moment. As for the nephew I would confront him and kick him out of your house if he is not paying rent (I think you said he was living there with you). Mark is in for a rude awakening if he ever gets out of the hospital and realizes nephew has taken him for a ride. BUT it's not your problem.
I am suspicious of whether his nephew is really doing this or just draining money from Mark and I am angry that someone who claims to have loved me for 15 years is now kind of in a "well, forget you" state of mind.
So sorry that Mark is in the ICU. It’s stressful. Know that we are with you during this difficult time.