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Based on what you have written, I think that you are handling the farm problems JUST FINE! You are to be commended for NOT GOING to the Farm Sale this weekend. The doctor is right, you know what to do and you are doing it. Keep up the good work!!!!
As to your Mom, YOU will have to decide when "Later" is, because SHE never will.
"a fil who thought he could walk to the coffee shop. my husband said let him try. i did." Oh, Great!! Your husband thinks that his father is able to walk to the local coffee shop, even though he has only been in town for less than a week?!? That's a good one! You will need to learn to laugh at this type of situation while still being concerned about your FIL's welfare and wandering. Keep everything in perspective.
Take care of yourself. God Bless! ^^Prayers^^ & {{Hugs}}
You are right, you asked God for an answer and then you got bit by your SIL, sounds like an answer to me.
As far as if you are praying right, I don't think if you are sincere and honest that you could do it wrong. It is important to be still and listen for answers, God is faithful to keep His promises, I was told by a very wise old man at the very beginning of my walk with Jesus, "Read your bible, pray and give God praise for ALL things" it helped me so very much and still does. I talk to my Lord all the time, read His word daily and give Him praise for all things, good, bad and ugly. Scripture tells us, "For we know all things work together for the good of those that love the Lord and are called according to His purpose " I cannot tell you how much that helps me through the tough spots.
Keep praying and trusting, no matter what and you will eventually see the end of the tunnel.
God bless and keep you close during this hard trial.
You know when you're cleaning out a closet, or under the sink, or the garage? Half way through pulling everything out, you look around and it looks like a tornado came through.??
Until we inventory what's there, see what's usable, what's broke and must go, what's broken but salvageable..etc...
Well when God is working in our lives it's much the same. Right now it looks like a big mess everywhere you look, right? God's taking it apart, making some changes and will put it all back together again. He's not done yet.
It's great to "turn it over" but stop taking it back. It's not yours to deal with, worry about or try to fix anymore.
*We made a decision to turn our will and our lives over to the care of God, as we understood Him.*
Seriously if you want the freedom the program promises us, I suggest you work with your sponsor. Learn how to *practice these principals in all your affairs.*
We were given a design for living, follow it.
Remember in the promises it says...
*We'll intuitively know how to handle situations that used to baffle us.* ?
Wouldn't that be nice right now?
It's up to you Staff, good luck.
Hugs to you for your courage and caring in opening up to share yourself with all of us. That was not easy, I know, I just wish I could wrap my arms around you and squeeze you tight.
I am hooraying for you at this moment, your first steps in your new life. No matter how hard it feels, you have shown us that you are strong enough to be victorious. I know we are all praying, rooting and pulling for you.
HUGS!
Hopefully, the more you share here with us anonymous cyber friends, the more support you will receive, and it will help you to cope in the long run, as we are all struggling Caregivers, and we all have our weaknesses, and need the support, I for one am just the opposite, I overeat, or eat the Wrong things at the Wrong time, so I struggle with being overweight, and it's wreaking havoc on my knees, plus it's embarrassing too!
It's So hard caring for Loved Ones, and then add in the added stress from no good family members, and it is So Not Fair!
My husband has 2 siblings who never participated in the care of their parents, their Father lived with us for 13 years, the last 9 weeks of his life on Hospice til he passed away in our home, and neither one of them could be bothered to visit, call or even send him a cheerful card at the end of his life, nor even come for a funeral, so we instead chose to do a small, Us and Our kids and Grankids Memorial service of sorts.
After my husband finalized his Dad's estate, my husband flew to see his older brother to give him his inheritance check in person, spent 5 days (in a hotel) in the Arizona town where he lived, thinking that they could work on repairing their relationship and his Brother could barely eek out 3 hours time, to visit with him, so my husband spent the majority of the time, sitting around his hotel room, it was sickening!
My husbands Sister who lives in Northern California (we're in Seattle where they all grew up), recently called my husband (her youngest brother) to say she was on Hospice herself, and doesn't have anyone to help her, so my husband jumped on a plane to go to see her and help her if he could, but she acted So Crazy, and couldn't manage to string together a sentence that made any sense, let alone address any of her legal and end of life issues and possible sale of her home (the whole reason why he went there in the first place), that he had to leave after just 1 day, he just couldn't cope with her confusion, her nastiness and anger issues, so once again, he had to find a hotel room, and wait out the time until his return flight to Seattle, 4 more wasted days, let alone the 700 dollars he spent on airline tickets and car rental!
It's strange, that some people are born Caregivers, and others (family members) are there just to cause problems, especially during times of crisis and when we need them the most.
I'm so sorry you are having to deal with a difficult Brother, and I hope things settle down once the property is sold and behind you. Just try to focus on your own well-being and the care of Your Mom, and let Brother do his thing. It's sad because as I recall, you two were once close. My husband and his brother were once close too, but now it's like he is so ashamed that he dumped All of the care of both his parents on my husband, that he can't face him, well he should be ashamed in my opinion! Take Care!
We finally sold the farm house, a big Craftsman design, and in January 2000, the buyers put the house on beams, moved the house out into our corn field, drove down the rows of cornstalks and across their half-section (320 acres) to the house's new foundation. Mom and Dad were able to see the inside of the house after it have been totally gutted and remodeled. We had always wanted to do that, but never had the time. As one of the new owners said, "It is time for another family to make new memories in that house."
This is the time to make "New Memories" with your Mom no matter what your brother does. Take care of your self.
I understand your struggles with food as I've had eating disorders all my life. People say "just eat", like it's really that easy.
But rest assured this is a learned behavior that can be changed. We use this as a coping mechanism. Plus we teach our brains to reward us when we starve. There absolutely is a dopamine kick up in our brains. ( The feel good chemical)
This is one of the most complex disorders as so much is involved emotionally and physically. Not just being skinny but the recovery and putting on a few pounds causes panic and relapse.
Please continue working with your therapist and dig deep. Journal as much as possible. You'll be surprised at what comes up.
I had done a lot of inner child work. One of the techniques we used was very powerful.
It was quite in-depth and too personal to put out on an open forum. But ask about it at your next therapy visit. And you can PM me anytime.
You deserve to eat and be healthy!