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Thanks for bringing back a great memory. Well, what do you know? I guess I take after him too. That just dawned on me-I always go to the dictionary, like he did. The acorn doesn't fall far from the tree. Miss you dad. ;)
His mother was devastated when he died but I don't think she was surprised. She kept it "together" better than I did most times. (She also had lived with his disease and I haven't). We rarely talk anymore but I e-mailed every anniversary of his death. On his 10th anniversary of passing, I said I hoped that God would comfort her sorrow on that hard day. She wrote back that her pain had turned to peace and joy. She remembers all the good parts from her son and her heart is at rest.
We're all different. I still cry when I think of him. I talk to him occasionally (a practice a friend of mine thinks is "strange") and tell him that I wished he had stuck around. I also tell him that we'll pick up with our conversations when I get there. I can just see his smile. (tears falling now).
The dictionary says;
Grief-deep sorrow, especially that caused by someone's death.
synonyms; sorrow, misery, sadness, anguish, pain, distress, heartache, heartbreak, agony, torment, affliction, suffering, woe, desolation, dejection, despair.
I am still grieving for him. I'm glad that his mother has gone past that. Everyone processes differently.
I'm so sorry for your loss.
Then a tear and, if not "caught" in time, a flood of them. Quick, where's the Kleenex? After a quick eye dab (trying to save the mascara) and a blow of the nose, we can compose ourselves once more.
I try to look at these "episodes" as keeping the memory alive. With me, these moments are usually followed with a little "talk" to the one I'm missing. I tell them I know they are safe and happy with God and, when my time comes, we'll pick up where we left off. Then I try to divert back to whatever I was doing before I got distracted.
Maybe it's our loved ones' way of reminding us that they're still with us, in spirit instead of body.
Grief is a sneaky old thing. I went into the spare bedroom where my MIL died at our house on hospice. I was going to dig out Christmas decorations. Shucks. Here came a tear. There is still nothing in there almost 1 1/2 years later. Just a big flat screen t.v. nobody watches. I just shut the door again lol!
So sorry for your many losses, too much to bear without the Lord. Glad that you have the comfort of the Lord.
Yogagirl,
So sorry you have had to say goodbye to your dear sweet Dad. ~Hugs~ sending you thoughts of comfort and love.
Stay with the Lord. He is a never ending gift in your life.
I am so sorry for your pain and sorrow. Thinking of you during this difficult time. Please know we are all here. Sending you love and hugs.
Pattyrnma - oh my goodness, you've dealt with a lot of grief! And I'm so sorry about your daughter! My deepest condolences on your loss. I'm glad you have support around you. All you can do is take it one day at a time, truly. I know the holidays are difficult, especially the first year you lose a loved one. Do whatever you need to do. (We're going out of state by ourselves for Christmas, I just can't handle being home this year without Dad.) Pattyrnma, I wish you peace and blessings.
Take care of yourself as you come to terms, wishing comfort to you and your family.
My deepest sympathies and condolences. I'm very sorry for your loss. Thinking of you and your family during this difficult time.
My sweet, loving, daddy passed peacefully today at 3pm.
He spent 2 days struggling for breath in the ER.
Mom's Alzheimers is advanced so she won't be sad.
I loved him so much.
Gershun, if you make that movie, will you please cast my sister as the glaring one? She's perfect for the part! LOL... I have an aunt that's a hoot, though, she'll be the one oblivious to the tension, dancing around the table. And probably drunk. ;)
SueC - I'm really sorry about your mom and your son. Those are two incredibly tough things to deal with. I hope you have people you can lean on for support!
Yes, I'm having nightmares. Have had them since Dad passed. Ugh. I'm exhausted! I tend to dream a lot anyway, but this is ridiculous. My husband and I plan to take a couple days off this week, and just re-charge and try to de-stress. We're going to a grief support group that's starting soon, as well. Hopefully that will help.
And...Dad's memorial was yesterday, and when I went up to thank one of the church members for his help, he told me he doesn't understand why people cry at funerals, and we should be happy instead. Ummm, what? Yeah, he said that. At Dad's FUNERAL! Made me feel like crap, as I had obviously been crying quite a bit. I'm trying not to let it get to me, but why the h3ll do people say stuff like that to the FAMILY, at a funeral???? Grrrr....
On the flip side, everyone else was amazing, and so many people shared their memories of Dad with us. I'm so thankful to the friends and unexpected people who have been supportive! :)
I am grieving for my mother, in the end stages of Alzheimer's and I'm grieving for my son who has made some awful choices for his life and is paying the consequences. They haven't died but my grief is none the less there. It seems to kick up its heels at times and I have periods of despair. I know I can't change a thing in either one of their lives, so, as they say, I've got to "keep on keeping on".
I pray for them, I pray for me. This forum has been a lifesaver (with support for my mom's dementia). Unfortunately, when I tried a forum for my son's problem, it brought the pain to the surface and made it worse. Same thing happens if I read books about coping with his problem. It's better, for now, to bury it so it doesn't hurt so much.
I'm not suicidal but I await the day I go to Heaven and no longer experience any negative human emotion. In the mean time, I've got a lot of plans for retirement.
Like patooski said, grief is really something.
P.
I did read somewhere that your adrenaline goes so high when in the caretaking situation and then when it's over, there's nothing. And it's a physical letdown. The whole experience can affect your stress hormones, immunity - everything. So I am hoping this is just normal and will pass. But I know that I am different than I was before this. Grief is really something.
But Patooski, I think you should not give up on yourself. Seventy is still pretty young. Why not try to make it happy or if not happy, at least tolerable. :)
I have an appointment with a therapist - finally I did make one - but I wonder if I should even go. So many things seem wrong with me and my life but I am approaching 70 and wonder if it is worth it.
I am sad that I could not do more. Anyone else feeling this way, especially the not wanting to socialize?