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This is a lovely post.
As for me, my kids know to scatter me over the black sand beaches of Hawaii. No mantle for me!
I think she likes listening to my 10 yo granddaughter play the piano too! (Although haven’t told 10 yo that she’s up there listening to her yet...😉. She’s still getting used to the cat and dogs cremains being around...😜
I totally understand your post. Take comfort where you can.
I need to arrange a Catholic Requiem Mass for him and he will stay in my trunk until then.
As far as scattering I have to check our state laws first but am hoping to scatter them somewhere they can be fertilizer for a forest or near the Chesapeake Bay, where I live.
He died unexpectedly, no will, never told me what he wanted as he truly thought he would live forever. He would have been 71 7/29.
I am not sentimental about remains. Maybe being a RN for 40 years toughened me up (fortunately or unfortunately....I struggle with this at times because I can be too clinical). I don’t care what happens to me when I die. I want to be buried at sea because I love the ocean and lived and swam in it my entire life. My husband thinks I am nuts.
I am having the Mass because I do believe it must be completed.
I am taking it one day at a time. I am exhausted. Can’t form a thought.
PS: I LOVED Deadwood. I was devastated when it ended. I may re-watch on Netflix.
I picked up both of my parents ashes - although three years apart. They were in a plain plastic lined sturdy cardboard box that was tastefully wrapped like a gift - in Tiffany blue wrapping paper. My mom would have really liked that. We forwent any fancy containers as they both requested to be scattered half way up the summit of MT. Hood.
Anyhoo - my point. As I was driving my dad home to my house - him sitting in the passenger seat, in his Tiffany blue box beside me - I had to fight the overwhelming urge to put his seatbelt on for him. The same feeling came over me when I picked up my mom.
I do talk to him and wrote him a letter but still feel the need for him...maybe that is just how it is going to be...
I have a closure if that is possible. I am not certain I would have otherwise. And I have until fall to tie up loose ends, something I am thankful for. I know how crazy, Bates motelish, it might sound. Nothing of sort. This is actually a beautiful experience for me. And I am thankful for it.
Eta. I should amend to say I am,in the process of closure.,I have been given a gift. I will use it well. I am thankful.
For now just watch movies with your mom.
Hugs!
And it is a blanket. And I treasure it and welcome it. I will sleep well tonight.
Enjoy watching movies with Mum and covering her 'ears' when there is bad language.