By proceeding, I agree that I understand the following disclosures:
I. How We Work in Washington. Based on your preferences, we provide you with information about one or more of our contracted senior living providers ("Participating Communities") and provide your Senior Living Care Information to Participating Communities. The Participating Communities may contact you directly regarding their services. APFM does not endorse or recommend any provider. It is your sole responsibility to select the appropriate care for yourself or your loved one. We work with both you and the Participating Communities in your search. We do not permit our Advisors to have an ownership interest in Participating Communities.
II. How We Are Paid. We do not charge you any fee – we are paid by the Participating Communities. Some Participating Communities pay us a percentage of the first month's standard rate for the rent and care services you select. We invoice these fees after the senior moves in.
III. When We Tour. APFM tours certain Participating Communities in Washington (typically more in metropolitan areas than in rural areas.) During the 12 month period prior to December 31, 2017, we toured 86.2% of Participating Communities with capacity for 20 or more residents.
IV. No Obligation or Commitment. You have no obligation to use or to continue to use our services. Because you pay no fee to us, you will never need to ask for a refund.
V. Complaints. Please contact our Family Feedback Line at (866) 584-7340 or
[email protected] to report any complaint. Consumers have many avenues to address a dispute with any referral service company, including the right to file a complaint with the Attorney General's office at: Consumer Protection Division, 800 5th Avenue, Ste. 2000, Seattle, 98104 or 800-551-4636.
VI. No Waiver of Your Rights. APFM does not (and may not) require or even ask consumers seeking senior housing or care services in Washington State to sign waivers of liability for losses of personal property or injury or to sign waivers of any rights established under law.I agree that: A.I authorize A Place For Mom ("APFM") to collect certain personal and contact detail information, as well as relevant health care information about me or from me about the senior family member or relative I am assisting ("Senior Living Care Information"). B.APFM may provide information to me electronically. My electronic signature on agreements and documents has the same effect as if I signed them in ink. C.APFM may send all communications to me electronically via e-mail or by access to an APFM web site. D.If I want a paper copy, I can print a copy of the Disclosures or download the Disclosures for my records. E.This E-Sign Acknowledgement and Authorization applies to these Disclosures and all future Disclosures related to APFM's services, unless I revoke my authorization. You may revoke this authorization in writing at any time (except where we have already disclosed information before receiving your revocation.) This authorization will expire after one year. F.You consent to APFM's reaching out to you using a phone system than can auto-dial numbers (we miss rotary phones, too!), but this consent is not required to use our service.
*If I am consenting on behalf of someone else, I have the proper authorization to do so. By clicking Get My Results, you agree to our
Privacy Policy. You also consent to receive calls and texts, which may be autodialed, from us and our customer communities. Your consent is not a condition to using our service. Please visit our
Terms of Use. for information about our privacy practices.
I can see how your husband feels but as one person said, it is the same as changing a child's diaper. This mom of his surely changed his diaper. It would help if he assumed a professional/clinical attitude when he was doing it. Don't be thinking "this is my mom", but rather "I'm a nurse doing a job". Having done work in the medical field, I've seen lots of private parts. Having a clinical attitude makes see that very different then seeing it is another context. He could always hire a caregiver to be there to do it. His sister need to have breaks. Sister may be "difficult", but she is doing what percentage of the care? 80%, 90%, 99%? Please consider expressing your appreciation for her work. Unless you do it, you have no idea how hard it is.
A wet diaper wouldn't be too bad but having to clean #2 smeared all over the skin and in crevices would be a challenge.
Is there a reason that, during your husband's visit, that he (or the family) couldn't hire a home health aide to attend to his mother's diapering needs?
Is his mother alert, bedridden, demented? I would think it would be easier to clean her if mom was mentally out of it than if she was thinking clearly and aware of what he was doing.
Clearly, his sister needs a break. It isn't right that he would make her do 24/7 duty because he won't change her diaper. She deserves some free time also.
None of us wants to clean our parents but we need to find alternatives if we are unable to do the job.
Since women usually end up being the caregivers (I know; not always), it seems like women more often have to change their fathers' Depends.
So it's sexist to expect that men shouldn't have to change their mothers' Depends.
And it's often just a copout. Curious...so if Mama feels uncomfortable with her son changing her, she feels comfortable with dumping more on her daughter?
In our household Grandma is being changed by myself, my husband, our 20 year old daughter (who is now a CNA), and my 17 year old daughter. If my husband and I are away the girls help. Now my son is the only one that I DON'T expect to do this, I feel that is way to awkward.
This could be me in your shoes....Only, it is my 3 brothers who are involved, not my husband. Mom lives with me. The time has come for bathroom assistance for my mother. She cannot manage by herself. Despite the fact that each of my brothers would do anything I ask of them to help with mom, the bathroom stuff is not on that list. They have made it clear, they are not comfortable, nor do they think that mom would be either. They asked her. She said, a loud NO. She does not want the boys in the bathroom with her. We have aides, but, it still poses a problem when we go out and one of my brothers stays with mom. So, consequently, they can't, and they don't. I think that personality plays a BIG role in this, not only what is best for mom. Yes, I believe she should be comfortable, and so should the caregiver. Thus, the dilemma. HELP. Me too.
Sorry those religious folks. No offense intended
Is there a joint agreement between your husband & sister to keep your MIL out of a nursing home? If so, maybe your husband can hire an aide.
Perhaps it's time for this dear one to be in a facility where professionals take care of her and the family can come in dignity and visit after others have done the hard jobs.
I'm with sadTexas Sister and Marcia7321. Hubby would not want to change places with is sister, I guarantee you. Since he can't man up to the job, someone needs to be hired part time to do this essential and other care while his sister gets a break each day to have something of a life of her own.