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Personally, I really dislike engaging in "pointless" conversation that is not engaging, informative, edifying or has an ultimate point with people who are basically irrational and illogical. When my Mom launches into negativity or conspiracy talk, do one of the following: I point to something in the room or outside and ask her a question like, "When did you put that there? Has that always been there?" etc. Or, I turn the conversation in a direction that may be more fruitful or get her mind in a better place (neutral, if not positive) and then leave on that note. Or, I abruptly change the topic to something neutral or positive/uplifting. If she gets flustered and continues to go back to the negative talk I say the exact same thing again or something different but also positive/neutral. I keep doing it as if I didn't just hear all her nonsense prior. She may or may not answer respond to the new topic. If she doesn't, I hang up or leave. Or, start an activity, like cleaning up something in a different room, or put on music loud enough so she can't talk over it. I just cannot suffer negative, pointless talk -- but that's just me. I do one of the above strategies at least once a day with my Mom.
Has she ever been prescribed meds for her anxiety?
Hee hee, kidding you here, but I am one, and am kinda a fence sitter. So to say:
I can hear one candidate and think "Yeah, that sounds good", then hear the other and think "Oh, wait, yeah. There's THAT. Now the other doesn't sound so good".
I think some of us are just "like that".
Getting older, with perhaps some aging issues, doesn't help.
I think basically this is just a matter of trying not to respond overmuch. Let them just work it out for themselves. They are sometimes just thinking out loud.
Notice the INSIDE of your own head, how you might argue options in your head without saying a thing: Such as "Irma drives me NUTS with all that calling for my opinion! I can't TAKE it. On the other hand, I sure would be peeved if she went ahead without giving me the choices"......
With aging we get a kind of disinhibition where we work out that mess stewing in a circular manner in our own heads OUT LOUD.
It drives folks nuts.
We can read the DSM-5 till our faces go blue. They just added "Prolonged Grieving Disorder".
Guess getting it coded gets shrinks paid.
It just doesn't much help getting annoyed, because they will be on to something ELSE in seconds. It's so much easier just to let the waters flow gently under the bridge.
Good luck!