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But I do need to formulate a real plan. I don't have kids, and wouldn't want to dump too much on them even if I did have them. So yes, it's important no matter what the circumstances are, to face things and figure things out.
Lord help me.
In my area [northern Virginia] we have a lot of retirement communities, independent living, assistant care and nursing homes [which they now call "continuing care"], and memory care facilities.
The 3 ring binder is not obsolete! In our emergency kit, we have a piece of paper w/our info (not as comprehensive though), just in case all our tech stuff isn't available for whatever reason.
But these are things that will be helpful when death occurs. The actual plans for what usually happens first - when old age and decline start happening? Honestly, I haven't said much other than "just shoot me," and that really won't be very helpful.
One section has to do with stock.... another section with Legal Papers.... another section Wills.... financials... safe deposit box... cars... elder care... final plans, etc.
In the section on Elder Care, I asked: If you can no longer be independent in your own home, what do you wish to do? Would you prefer to live at home to hire "professionally" certified trained caregivers to help around the clock? Hire cleaning people, and people to do landscaping? Or move to a retirement village where you will get full-time trained care, quick medical help, and be around people of your generation, and to enjoy what if offered by the village?
I am hoping everyone is starting to fill out this notebook so we aren't running blind if something happens.
Last month my S/O and I previewed several retirement communities and found one that is fantastic... you couldn't ask for anything better... it's like saying in a top rated hotel.... yep, expensive, but I saved for this, and since I have no children, I will spend my money how I please :) My S/O plans to do the same thing, because if his grown children gets their hands on his money, they will blow it in one year.... he might as well enjoy it.
I'm trying to get everything in order, but it will probably take me 3 years to get all debts paid off and a decent life insurance policy in place (given that most of them have a 2-yr wait before they pay full benefits) and all arrangements made. I've already told my daughter I don't want her or her brothers taking care of me the way I'm taking care of my mother. It's not fair, and I refuse to be that kind of burden to them. When I see myself needing help, I will never be as prideful as my mother and refuse to obtain the help I need, and when the time comes, if the doctor says I need to go to a nursing home, then I will go. I refuse to put my children through what I'm going through. I am relatively new to caregiving and will probably be in this situation for at least another 10-15 years before either something happens to Mom or she has to go into an NH. I refuse to take that much of my kids' lives away - because that's what caregiving does. I love my mother, don't get me wrong, and I'm glad I'm here for her - but I had to give up everything in order to do it, and I was on the verge of finally getting all my kids out of the nest....only to have to turn right around and start caring for Mom. I never, ever have had a time where I was just a single woman living alone, and it makes me kind of mad sometimes. (Yes, it's my choice to be here, but it wasn't exactly a free choice - no one else would do it, so I can still be mad about it, right?)