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Oh goody , someone read my mind and started the 2024 bashing !!
Not getting my hopes up for 2025 either .

Let’s see , The saga that started with my FIL 3 years ago did end in 2024, however we are now in similar problems with MIL , 87, anosagnosia , undiagnosed dementia , stubborn , denial. It’s the Fall of 2021 all over again .

My older sister is declining , early vascular dementia . She is the only one of my 4 siblings I am close to . 69 yo.

My good friend 66 years old died last week of lung cancer ( never smoked ).

Another good friend is battling breast cancer , just finished treatments , she’s aged about 10 years this year . 74 yo

Another good friend with Alzheimer’s has declined a lot this year . 74 yo .

My best friends are 10-15 years older than I am , I’m 59. They were either former coworkers or neighbors .

I feel like I’m looking at a future lonely retirement .
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“In a whole year I'm sure there was a lot of good in-between too.”

No. But thanks for your optimism. 😉
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Hi, venting, Alva, houseflower.

Try thinking in terms of bad months, instead of bad years. In a whole year I'm sure there was a lot of good in-between too.

My year has been filled with ups and downs, up and down.

Houseflower, I hope you do something special for yourself, tomorrow! And Happy Birthday 🎈
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Venting, Tomorrow is my 69th birthday, today marks the close of the worst year of my life also. I am losing my best friend to a glioblastoma and the past six months have been devastating. That combined with the loss of my mother, selling my parents house, dealing with my unhinged sister and I am ready to scream.

I try to find joy where I can but it is hard.
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I am hating 2024 as well, Venting. It helps to see you back.
It meant for me a return after 37 years of a breast cancer.
It meant my daughter suffering chronic pain from torn and shredded hip muscles that got missed for three years while doctors told her that the pain was from her back with its bulging disc.
I am seeing crumping of friends all about me.
We can't place our little foster dog and we SHOULD NOT be keeping another dog in our 80s.
Yet and all I count the lucky we, my partner and I, are still standing, because HE is skinny as a rail and could be blown over by a gust.
Now, there. I have whined enough.
I hope things get better for you venting.
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Actually, I’m in a terrible mood today. Not against anything in particular. Just going through a lot. 2024 was so full of hope. I can’t believe it’s already October. It is the most difficult year of my life.

Just need a miracle for things to flip around, and it turns out to be the best year of my life.
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🙂 Today is a good day
for a bad mood.
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Back to being on balance today, after yesterday's 10-hour slow descent into frustration, where I crashed and burned. I couldn't get a 2-page essay submitted and, man, was I mad about it. I edited it today and got it in on time, but I feel like it shouldn't take me more than a day to write two flippin' pages.

I'd forgotten how demanding MS coursework is: how demanding it is to take in, absorb, multiple chapters of books and multiple research articles, and then apply that info to specific questions and churn out something coherent.... every single week.

I'm thankful I have a place to vent; I apologize that it's not related to caregiving. However, I was thinking about past times when I've had similar feelings of being overwhelmed to the point of being highly agitated -- can't focus, can't quite gather your thoughts... and that's a feeling I distinctly recall from the caregiving years. It's a tough place to be in, psychologically and emotionally.

I hope you're keeping your level today. Take good care of yourself. 💜
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This is petty stuff, but I'm struggling, so here goes:

This was my first week back in my MS program after about 9 months away. I'm reacting like a fussy toddler and just DON'T WANT TO DO THIS WORK.

But of course, I DO want to do it. It's always interesting; just challenging. And I hate reading and writing so much but I've grown to love it in past school terms and I'm sure I will again.

But today's brain workload took me into meltdown-ish territory. I'm getting through it, but it's taking some determination... and I phoned a friend for a pep talk lifesaver. Ugh. I can do this. Don't overcomplicate it, Ali. Just do the work. 💪

Been a while since I've been on this challenging horse. Gotta get back in the saddle.
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My Whine Moment today:
I'll just state the glaringly obvious.
Dementia takes way too long. The fact that a human brain takes 5, 9, or 20 years to fall apart is ridiculous.
I'm sick of mom's escalating, outrageous problems and if I wasn't happily married I'd run away and hide.
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Thx ITRR, Pam and Way. Moving on here. I seem to be not doing bad on the cfs/fm front which is a blessing. R says he can walk slower so we will do that walk again. He is almost over his cold, got the trees planted and the vehicles moved. Planting trees is recreation for him. He loves working outside.

But a whine here. We had an arrangement at the lake for the neighbour to cut the grass in exchange for storing his motorhome on our lot. It worked well for years. Due to his surgeries and whatever R hadn't been out there for a couple of years and was shocked when he arrived at the lot. The drive was almost grown over, there are many, many poplar saplings growing everywhere and the tansy is out of control. He introduced himself to the new owner who is nice and explained the situation. A couple of our trees had fallen onto their property which they disposed of, and there are more dead/old ones that need to come down. He said he and his brothers would help R with them which is great.

I am really surprised that the village didn't inform us. They always have before. The property on the other side is a double lot with a house and people living in it and the part of that near us is out of control too, so whoever is managing the village has changed or the policy has changed. Anyway, we made a plan as to how to tackle this, but it's not the highest on the list which is getting longer daily it seems.

Way - we plan on taking a few days at our local fave hotel -hot tub. meals out etc.
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my whine moment today:

"Dead people receive more flowers than living ones because regret is stronger than gratitude."
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Golden ,

Please both you and R take care !!
Take breaks .
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golden,, WOW ! you do sound busy, and good luck!
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Golden, I am exhausted just reading everything you guys have going on.

I will believe with you that you headed that darn cfs/fm off at the pass and you will be feeling top notch.

I have a long legged hubby and I so feel you on the speed walking it takes to keep up. 😬

Get R to take some zinc to shorten that cold.

May The Lord be with you both and touch your endeavors and your bodies.
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It's a zoo around here. Not enough that R has to deal with the results of the accident, the insurance, medical stuff, his health issues, but as the horse have to be relocated, R has to find new pastures, and transport horses. He has moved 2 (driving more miles than he should be now in the rain, caught a cold and so on. I am not sure how many more there are to be moved. He is putting some up for auction and advertising some for sale as he needs to reduce his herd and this is the obvious time to work on that. But all that takes time and effort. He is great at breeding good horses, but not so good at selling them. I'm helping him with the online stuff.

As well, we are now a one phone family. His phone got smashed in the accident. We had a back up phone and it stopped working so we are going to go for a factory reset on it and hope it will work then.

Just to add to the fun, my phone which is the communal phone is connected to my hearing aids so when R dials wherever (he is making many calls these days). He has to switch it over to speaker or iphone and forgets to do that so I hear the greetings for the insurance companies etc. and sometimes even if he switches it over right, the phone automatically, in the middle of the conversation, switches over to my hearing aids. Great!!!

In the meanwhile, the condo owners have decided to remove some old trees at the back where people have stored vehicles, R has a truck there and a car and the car is not running but they have to be out of there by Friday. We don't get a lot of notice for these things.

On the good side, we had a great walk yesterday to a neighbourhood nearby, which has lovely big trees and well established gardens. The walk winds through a small park and went past a house with a large apple tree in front. Of course R picked one and gave me a bite which is all I can take these days (fodmaps issues) and I thought it was a very nice crisp, slightly tart but sweet enough, red skinned apple. The tree was full of them. He says he will go back and see if the owners will let him pick more. Apart from having the apples for him to eat we want some seeds to grow a tree from.

The downside of that is that the walk triggered my cfs/fm and my brain is on high alert/disorganization today. We'll see how the body reacts in the next few days. So I am taking a few more anti-inflammatories and hope to head it off at the pass. The weather is such lovely fall weather. I loved getting out and walking a bit rather than walking in the parkade, but I have to walk faster to keep up with R as he is tall and a lot of that is legs.

A couple of silver maple saplings in pots are stored in the back which now need be moved and planted at the lake lot along with the elm sapling on the balcony. I haven't been there for years and I really want to go with him this afternoon, so I am taking the chance.

Whine over for now. It helps to vent.
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My dad didn't want mom to drive, because it was easier to control her.

She got her license around 40 actually, and drove back and forth to work, but if dad was home he always drove her, and after he retired she never drove again
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@Ana, that’s terrible .
It appears that your mother liked be chauffered by Dad. I wonder if he really did not want her driving his car , or maybe it started out that way in the beginning 🤷‍♀️🤷‍♀️
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Mine learned to drive at 65, after my father died. She said he’d never allow her to use his beloved car so why bother. Yet, the day I got my licence (age 16 plus 2 days due to Sunday plus a holiday Monday closure), he gave me my own set of keys on a ring with an ‘A’ and gleefully told me that, from then on, I could schlep my mother about town.
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My Mom didn’t learn to drive until she was 30. She never drove far though , just local to the stores , bank , doctor etc . She was happy to give up driving not long after Dad retired .
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My mom gave up driving on her own as well. But the loss of independence really affected her adversely. She eventually stopped going to her Church which she had been a member of for over 30 years. People offered to drive her but my mom never liked relying on others. I noticed her health started to decline as well without that social outlet.

I confess. I'm embarrassed to admit. I never got my driving license. But let me explain. I always suffered from anxiety in one form or another and just the thought of being responsible for controlling a 4000 Ib. piece of machinery just raised my anxiety levels big time. I like to think I was considering my fellow mankind's safety by not getting behind the wheel. ;)
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Ana,

My DH used to call it
Driving Miss A*****

FYI , DH used her real name , it started with an A ………in case you were thinking something else . 🤔😄🤪😜
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Way, our experiences so often match. Eeeeerie.
As difficult as my mother was, she, too, gave up driving on her own. (good thing I love to drive)
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A chuckle not a whine .
As abusive as my Mom was , at least she gave up driving on her own . She’s got one up on MIL . 🤭🤣
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It sure is, way. They twist things to suit themselves. I'm glad it's a short trip and you and dh can look forward to a good breakfast. Mil will frown on anything that she can't control or isn't her idea. As you say, "Oh, well."

Do what's good for you.
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Golden ,
Thanks for the food for thought .
It is very difficult to figure out the best words to use with someone like this .

It’s a short trip just overnight in a hotel . We never stay with her . DH looks forward to his NY bagel breakfast just the two of us before we leave to go home . That’s about it . The previous daylong visit is too long , but it is what it is . It’s only a few times a year . I may go out for a walk in the middle of it and get a break this time . I’ve never done that before , I’m sure it will be frowned upon by MIL . Oh well .
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I see a common theme here - that you will not rescue mil from her what you consider to be "bad" (call them unwise to be less confrontational) choices and lack of planning for her own welfare as she ages.

Also may be good to state what you will do e.g. You will be involved in appropriate plans for her care as she ages and give an example of what you are prepared to do.

Again don't argue with her about these issues - just state what you will and what you won't do and stick to it.

I understand your need to say "may" - " her lack of planning may result in consequences that we are not willing to deal with", but do realise she can use that as a loophole. It is not a firm boundary. It may be better at this point to clearly state what you will and what you won't do even if it doesn't cover all the territory. That leaves you wiggle room for dealing with some things and not others that arise. Just a thought.

Any master manipulator like her will use anything that isn't very clear. Boundaries, when stated, need to be clear and firm. However, that being said, boundaries can be changed as/if people and circumstances change.

As to asking her what her plans are, maybe take a step back and start with asking her if she has any plans for her care in the future as her abilities decline.

Dealing with people like mil is difficult and draining. I hope you and dh can have some fun/good experiences on this trip as well. Be sure to plan something good for you that you can look forward to,
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Golden.
Those are good examples , thank you .

The trip is our normal scheduled “ visit” . However we were wanting to reinforce what we have been telling her , that we will not rescue her if she travels to Florida or anywhere else . We also wanted to state some concerns , specifically ask her what are her “ plans “ . I told DH we are not going to tell her what to do . I told DH that her lack of plans ( no POA) is her problem . We will tell her that her lack of planning may result in consequences that we are not willing to deal with . DH is getting more comfortable with this I think partly because he’s so swamped at work . 🤷‍♀️

Everything you said is spot on of your description , MIL will have an argument rehearsed etc . She is very manipulative and will rationalize that teen drivers are worse . I like the idea of telling her we won’t be involved in her crisis.
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I was reading in my "Change your Relationship" devotion and it said something to this effect - for best impact say what you have to say in 10 words or less. Don't keep repeating, don't argue. Quite a challenge!!!

Way, mil is very manipulative, still has many of her marbles. She can rationalize what she wants to. She probably likes to argue. She may well have figured out what your concerns are and already have her arguments prepared.

Don't do it! It's a game to her.

I would stay with "I" or "We"statements to make the points you want to make,and few of them, and not engage with her on contentious issues. Let her go on if she wants to. Then talk about the weather or go for a walk.

Is this a trip to talk her into or out of certain behaviours, or is this a trip to state your concerns and set your boundaries?

Words to this effect - more than 10 but to the point.

"Mom, dh and I are concerned that you continue to drive. At your age with your health issues. you could have an accident and hurt yourself and others. We will not be involved with any crisis resulting from your driving.

Mom, in life there are needs and wants. Continuing to drive at your age and with your health issues is a want, not a need and potentially dangerous to you and others. You have other options. We will not be involved with any crisis resulting from your driving.

I expect deep down she knows she is pushing the limits with her driving. It may well take a crisis for her to stop. It that case there is nothing you can do to change her. Just state where you are at, and let it go. You can't change others, just yourself. This is stressing you - try to find some peace in the storm.
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Way, man, there is no good answers here, if she hasn't admitted to the fact that she can't do somethings now, she is never going to.

It's like your just waiting and hoping her health fails before she hurts someone.

So sorry
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