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I'm tired of cooking/preparing 3 meals a day. It's just the two of us but boy oh boy can that woman eat!! She stays slimish, I get fattish. It's bad enough I do everything here much less start making her one thing and me the other. At times I feel guilty when I buy her fast food cuz of the nutritional value....not to mention I eat it too.

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Golden, my whole family met in Disneyland once for a vacation and every one of us brought home the most awful flu. I don’t know if it was the plane or the park but it was 2 weeks of agony and I had a toddler with me. Just awful! It took great strength to recover. Please go easy on yourself and sleep as much as you can get away with - you’re a ‘doer’ so I know that’s hard for you.
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Golden, or that stinks, every one talks about recuperating from covid. The flu can take a long time to recoup from also. I had the flu once really bad when I was younger, young baby at home, so probably wasn't taking care of myself, and immunity was low, but it was a good 3 months if not more before I felt like I was myself again.
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ali - sounds like you are getting this figured out I think content can be learned more easily than writing skills. You are going down the home stretch now. I hope you keep your focus on working with the elderly, ((((((hugs)))))

b8ted2sink -glad your husband is better and can do more for himself which lightens the load for you. I'm also glad you can have a few "luxury" items. We all need treats sometimes.

Nacy - we had that happen once. They had to rebuild the house. Scary stuff. So glad nobody was hurt. I hope their insurance is helpful.

My whine is I'm having more (but mild( brain fog and needing more sleep since the flu. I guess it triggered the CFS/FM. Makes it hard to get things done.
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Yeah, no roof left, maybe they can salvage some stuff inside, but doesn't look promising.

One small brush fire and one house. Fireman had a busy day here.

Finally tomorrow night we are getting much need good rain for a couple days!!

Hopefully it helps , the NYS fires and now Massachusetts, about an hour away.
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Scary, Nacy! I’m glad no one was home and that the fire didn’t spread beyond that one house but the next few months are going to be awful for that family.
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Since my husband was given permission to drive again , which he does well at, I prefer to stay Home and enjoy the Peace ! He drives himself to Appts, & increasingly a few errands, which is nice. He doesn't mind it. Perhaps he enjoys the few hrs. of separation from each other as much as I do. He's also happy to have Some Independence back in his life. despite he does still suffer setbacks from his disability and still in pain.
I never cared to Shop in person much , and prefer to take advantage of the beautiful Fall days at Home ! So I go about ordering what we need and save myself the trip . I prefer to show him in advance what I'm considering ordering , as the receipts are tracked on the Cell phone. By today, he was "putting down" my idea claiming it cost too much -(which it really didn't .) He, himself picked up groceries recently and spends more than I do over running an errand to our local Dollar Type store , but it's the closest for a quick stock up when running out of food, and paper products, etc.. -often a real Life Saver. He 's mainly snooty about the stores I prefer to hit up sometimes , while he'll go out of his way to shop at more popular stores among those who prefer the more "fresh, natural products. " and located much further from Home. The item I wanted to order was a necessity/luxury -a space heater, since our older one gave out. He usually complains about getting too cold at night , and does enjoy our heater in the dining rm. over dinner. He's "acting" like he doesn't; mind the absence of our former heater while watching movies together in the lvg. rm.. I'm not even going to TRY to figure out why he's doing what he's doing -and treating me so badly over every little purchase lately, which he Can afford. Instead-I ordered another heater I liked, but is a little less in cost , while being Top quality . After he left for his appts. I made the order and am still very satisfied over the purchase (after having also done the research over it.) .
I have been working extra hard this Fall Season, finally cleaning out areas of our Home having been neglected particularly over the Years I'd spent working so hard as his Care Person & Care Taker of our Home -inside & out. Two things I keep in mind as my Rationale concerning making a purchase that sometimes actually does lean more towards Luxury , than Necessity , but just nice to have in our lives. One -is the old AA instruction-"Do not suffer at the expense of another". and Two is -Did he think my "services" were FREE ??
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Had a house fire around the corner this morning, I walked outside, smelled smoke, things look foggy. Went in to tell H, we came back out heard explosion. Ran around the corner to the front of my house, and the fire men where pouring into the fire house, right across the street from me. So I was like ok , well someone called.

Then walked down to see, no one was home, it started in the garage and was getting into the attic, they were starting to contain it and we went home.
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I'm in a stubborn mood after getting that grade back, comparing to classmates, and knowing even more now what I already knew: Classmates are learning relevant content while I am learning semi-relevant and not-relevant content. It is what it is. I'll figure this out. There's no downside for me. I may end up practicing at any one of the thousands of clinics and providers that serve ASD/ID populations. Fine with me. However, I will first try everything to find the niche providers that serve elders; for now, that remains my focus.
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I just wanted to follow up: I had a lengthy group meeting with project teammates today. All is well.

See, dumb brain, that email WASN'T as big of a deal as my anxiety was making it out to be.

However, I still need to learn to write professionally at all times, especially when giving constructive feedback. I am going to seek some tips about that.

It's interesting: I rec'd my previous paper's grade back in this class tonight. I rec'd higher marks than my classmates (they told me what they rec'd), but I scored pretty low on the content-knowledge acquisition rubrics.

The way I interpret this is that I have superior writing skills, but I still don't know what I'm talking about. lol

That sums it up. :)

I've put myself on a heckuva adventure. I'm three classes away from an MS, have a 4.0 GPA, and have no clue how to practice with ASD kids (the majority demo for BCBAs)—because I never intended to practice with that population. Until the final death knell is dealt to my dreams of behavioral gerontology practice, I'm going in that direction as best I can. I seek out all the relevant online content. It's very cool stuff!

I'll figure myself out. This is doable; I have to make relevant connections, which, to me, means attending specialty conferences. I missed a big one this past year; have another one on my must-attend for next year.
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Margaret, I did that in this email.

I bulleted the assignment instructions (since my classmate either hadn't read them or didn't understand them) and used a hefty dose of bold and italic fonts to highlight certain points.

I just felt like a nut doing it because it felt like confrontation, and I'm the biggest confrontation-phobe in the whole wide world.

I didn't know how else to show them what we should be doing. They had access to the instructions but didn't bother to follow them, so I'm not sure what's going on there.

So now, with her permission, I'm re-writing her section of the paper. Because it's my grade. And I don't care if I have to pick up the slacker's slack here; the objective is to turn in a decent paper.
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LOL Margaret.
I haven't tried dividing my posts that way for a very long time since I mostly try to focus on brevity now, but when I did I remember having to go back to edit and reformat everything after posting. Maybe the site has changed.
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Cwillie, you may have noticed that I sometimes (often?) do posts in numbered paragraphs, which is OK with Admin. I haven’t tried it for a question I’ve posed myself.

I remember that many years ago in my ‘market research’ phase following divorce, I was told by a bloke that he had never before received a ‘love letter’ in numbered paragraphs! Clearly I over-did it back then.
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Hi Ali!
Joining Linkedin online, I was amazingly helped by non-profit coaches offering material for funding non-profits. This research was all for someone else, anyway.
I was also offered jobs that paid $68,000 to $123,000 per year as an executive assistant. (They don't know me, and I am not seeking employment).

Finding that the simplest google search entries are often the best, entered this for you:

"College student needs to write a professional email"

Loads of info suitable for you, I think.
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Oh ali - those group projects and the people who don't carry their weight. What about "How much will this matter 5 years from now, or 1 year from now or even 5 months from now? "

Realistically there are going to be people in class and, eventually, at work who don't pull their weight.

I think reading tips about professional communication by email is a good idea.

Please breathe deep and recognize that as much as this is extremely irritating, it is not the end of the world. That includes your email to them.

You have very high standards for your own work, and others are not going to meet those, and in some case not even come close. You are not always going to meet your own very high standards and that's OK. You'll pass the course and maybe learn something about you and group projects and trying to motivate others to do their jobs along the way. It isn't easy.

Take a break. Do something good for you, You have earned it and you deserve it! ((((((hugs)))))

Ana -when I first tangled with an insurance company I looked up how they were doing financially. They make great profits. From us.
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Hm, I like the idea of using bullet points Margaret, I wish some of the people who come to the forum would format their questions that way (but then even if they did AgingCare doesn't allow it).
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My suggestion would be to write your 'professional' emails in numbered paragraphs. With complicated ideas, this separates them out and may give the reply a more formal format. Give it a go, perhaps?
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AliBoBali - I loathed group projects. My elder daughter is in university and loathes them too. Invariably there is someone uncooperative or invisible. We both chose fields with minimal human interaction for a reason! Good luck to you!

Golden - Canada Life bought out London Life. We are not amused.
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I'm in finals for a class right now, and I have a feeling I'll be back around for at least the next few days venting in the only safe and supportive space online that I know of, which is here on AC. I think of this site and friends here often.

What's got me in a mood right now are the demands of a final project for school and these GROUP final projects in my classes. The group format is almost always highly demoralizing to me because there's inevitably a teammate (or several) who's not on track, not engaged, unresponsive, and I feel I have to turn into a simultaneous whip-cracker and whimpering beggar... via emails, which makes it so much worse because it's very difficult for me to strike the right tone in writing.

My inability to consistently write in a professional tone when I need to give necessary critical feedback via email makes me feel neurotic. I need to read some articles with tips about professional communication via email.

I need to put aside my anxiety about this email I sent my teammate/classmate this morning (after she turned in some work last night that was not what the assignment is asking for and was minimum-effort, "phone it in" nonsense) and get some sleep. Please send me some good thoughts and remind me that this email and my utter frustration with group projects are not as big of a deal as I think, trying to analyze right now while stressed after several long days of reading/writing. Ultimately, I just have to pass the class, which I certainly will. 🙏
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Ana - that takes the cake. Somehow doesn't surprise me after seeing what R has been going through with insurance.

Psue -you are well organized. Here it gets done when it gets done. As mother got older her eye sight was not quite as good - my housekeeping improved lol. I always feel sorry for plastic people. Glad you had some good experiences. Ironed Levi's sound about right. When we went to the dinner theatre the other week I wore a sequined dress. I like to dress up once in a while and occasionally I like bling!!!! R wears a smart shirt and dress slacks. Nowadays out here no one dresses up much. I do if I feel like it.

DD has kept her joy. Not that she hasn't been through some hard times, of course, but she doesn't dwell on it. All tests have been clear to date and she is optimistic, but also realistic about her future. And she has her faith. She is getting back into training in a gym and generally building herself up physically.

Glad to hear you are 20 years from that experience and were able to recapture your joy during it.
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Golden, in hindsight I feel a little sorry for those plastic people. I’m not sure it was their fault that they had to put so much effort into being seen by the right people every weekend. I really don’t know how they kept it up without hollowing out and caving in on themselves.

I did see some beautiful sights and gained a huge appreciation for Event Planners but in those years I only made a couple lasting friendships. When DH took a transfer to a place where ironed Levi’s were considered appropriate formal evening attire I packed up all the pretties and donated them to St. Vincent de Paul. Good riddance.

I am dismayed to hear about your DDs cancer. Has she responded well to treatment? I felt the same way at the end of chemo - it took me a full year to feel even close to normal. October marked my 20th year since diagnosis and the start of treatment, with no recurrence. I know it’s different for everyone but has she been able to hold onto any amount of joy through it?

Joy was my biggest loss, but when it came back, it came roaring back to the point where I annoyed my friends and family so much they talked about buying me a weighted vest to keep me from floating away and becoming one with the universe! I’ve learned to tone it down a little. : )
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Geaton, that is ridiculous! Don’t you wish we could plant and grow logic?
My mother’s birthday triggered an audit of her holdings with an insurance company. I am POA. The annuity dept didn’t want to pay because they wouldn’t accept that she was alive. The life insurance dept didn’t want to pay because they wouldn’t accept that she was not alive. Well, she’s one or the other!
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My whine today: I’m stalling on my iPad.
Its F-riday which means and I’m supposed to be doing F-loors.
I also have to do T-hursday T-oilets that I didn’t get done yesterday.

(I know, T-uesdays would make better T-oilet days but Tuesday is too far from the weekend when mom comes to visit.
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nacy - nice idea with the scarves. Just like crocheting grannie squares and putting them together to make an afghan. Homeless need scarves.

geaton - WHAT A PAIN!!! Bureaucracies are the worst. And the left hand never knows what the right hand is doing. Hope you got it sorted.

Psue - Even the cat was black and orange. The place needed some colour. Musical theatre would be a great training. My 2 oldest were/are in that world. Dd did a diploma in Theatre Technology and oldest son in Theatre Arts. He has kept his connections and does some theatre even now.
I wonder how you survived the "functions" and the plastic people. You can only smile so much! I've touched on that world at times and it freezes my soul. Good for DH retaining himself through all that.

Sorry about your need for chemo. Dd is just finishing up her next to last session. One more to go. She told me recently if there came a need for another bout of this particular treatment she would think long and hard and want to be sure about significant benefits to repeat it. It's been a long three years. She did fine with surgery and radiation but the chemos have hit her hard.
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Nacy, if you’re looking for places to use up your practice knit hats, scarves and lap blankets check out your local hospital oncology department. I still have my chemo beanies; they were a great comfort to me. Another thing I still have is a rice filled bean bag the nurses would heat in the microwave and rest on my arm while pushing that refrigerated fluid into my vein. A simple sewing project with such compassion in the stitches.
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Whoa, Geaton! I had no idea the PoA rules were so restrictive! I learn something new here everyday.
Sending a virtual French 75.
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Golden, once again I am delighted by your storytelling. You have the gift of making word-pictures. More, please!

1970’s Halloween! I LOVE it! Especially since I just finished a remodel of our funky 1977 house. I love the era and kept a lot of the funk but, boy-oh-boy, it was so dark and dingy!

When I started dating DH he was required to attend a lot of fancy ‘functions’ for work. That was not a world I could afford. I had made my 1st wedding gown and prom dresses and had done musical theater in school so I had some experience. I spent M-F nights after work sewing sparkly things and Saturday night wearing them. It was fun for awhile, then I got kind of disgusted with it and with the plastic people. I’m still amazed at how my DH was able to slot himself into that world so successfully without losing the dirt poor, barefoot, boy at his squishy center.
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Here's something that happened this week:

I was at our DMV to get a duplicate car title in order to sell my Mom's car (don't get me started on why I had to do that in the first place -- it's a post for another day...a day of martinis). The clerk asked for my PoA paperwork. She unstaples it to scan the page where it gives me the authority to get the duplicate and the notarized page. Restaples it and gives it back.

Fast forward to a week later when I'm there again with the buyers (my brother-in-law and his wife). The clerk (a different one) asks for the PoA paperwork again. This time the clerk says that the PoA paperwork is now unacceptable or at least suspect because it obviously has been unstapled and restapled. What the...???? When I informed her that her own clerk did that she said it wasn't possible (but it was cuz I saw it with my own 2 peepers).

Moral of the story:

Never say, "You people did that" to the cranky clerk at the DMV.

and

DO NOT UNSTAPLE and the RESTAPLE your original PoA paperwork.

I get why this can be an issue but literally no other institution ever commented or even l@@ked at the "staple status" of any of the 3 PoA documents I had for my 3 principals over the years. No attorney ever told me this might be a deal-breaker.

Maybe it's only at the DMV. Maybe it's only at the MN DMV. You might want to check in your home states.
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Golden and peasuep, wow 😲 I'm impressed, formal wear and quilts! That's very impressive.

😂 I was thinking that , my knitting abilities is a scarf, I'm sure my kids wouldnt really appreciate many scarfs. So I was actually thinking of knitting a bunch of scarfs , complementary colors, then connecting them, to make a throw blanket.

Then when Im better, try something new. Being nerodivergent it's harder work to learn new things, but once I get it down I don't loose it, just takes longer to get it down.
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Ana - the mending. Oh my goodness, and hemming new dress pants. I even embroidered flowers over a few holes/rips in the jeans, I used to have a day in the spring when I took all their whites and scrubbed and stain removed brightened and so on to make them respectable.

Then there was the annual sock hunt when I told the kids to put all their unmatched socks on their beds, then visit each other to find matches. We found quite a few and the rest went into the rag bag for polishing etc. It was fun for them.
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Psue - wow formal wear I never did that. You were a sewing whiz!!! I wouldn't have dared try sequins or bead work.

I really enjoyed doing the quilt and thought about doing one for each grandchild, and some sofa cushions but never did. When dd was in a funk once and I went to stay with her we redid her apartment decor - which was 1970s Halloween. We found a craft shop with lots of lovely bolt ends and made duvet covers, and curtains for her and her son's bedrooms and the living room. Then I crocheted a huge afghan to cover the 4 seater orange couch. I used to sleep on it with the cat on my head. She got tulips in pinks and yellows on a blue background, grandson got teddy bears, and the living room got a blues, greens and yellows. You can make a big difference to a place with a bit of fabric and a sewing machine. I think it was my last major sewing effort.

The tablecloth I never finished was Richelieu embroidery - cut work. It was too much effort I guess.

nacy - mother in her late 80s knitted us all large colourful scarves. They were beautiful combinations of colours and large enough to be very warm. I think anyone who came into her flat got a scarf. lol. Being mother, she became quite obsessive about the knitting, No fancy stiches, just plain knitting and great colours.

Just don't give me those crocheted dish rags. I hate them!
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