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One day, she pointed to the foot of her bed and said, “ look, they are standing there , the three men.” I asked, “what do they want?” She said, “ they are coming for me.” I asked, “what are they wearing?” She said, “ they are dressed in White.” I told her to tell them she is not ready to go yet. I do not know whether she did or not.
As the other person said, go along with the conversation. There is no need to place your mum in a Nursing Home. Had I known my brother was going to follow my mum 32 days after she passed, I would have paid more attention to when he spoke of having “the feeling,” that he was going to die soon. He was struck by a speeding motorist in South America, Guyana.
He did, come to say bye two nights before he passed. He knew he was going to die and so did my mum. She was looking towards her bedroom door as if she was expecting someone to come take take her. The Aide said when my mum saw who she was expecting, she was going to get up from the chair to go. The Aide left the room to make a phone call, and when she went back, mama was gone...
Treasure your mum, for you will ONLY have one mother and ONE father.
All all the best.
As long as my mother is not afraid I am ok with it!
You could be correct that people with dementia see what we don't. I do know cats and dogs see things we don't. Had my own experience with Sam my BF's cat!
She explained to me that she needs people to speak slowly for her. That helped some for both of us because I realized she was reading my lips. I know this because she has said for me to face her when I speak. Of course if I am looking in a different direction she would not be able to to read my lips.
Re: her hearing - does she use hearing aids? Can she read? If so, you could write her simple yes or no questions. I guess nodding and smiling work too? And I always like a deep breath or two to help stay calm in the face of difficult conversations like these.
Good luck!
I had to use "therapeutic fibs" to keep my Mom happy by saying "we will visit tomorrow" as I knew she would forget quickly. My Mom also had a difficult time in hearing, her ears just wore out, and I hated to sound like I was yelling at her.
My Dad's caregivers said that he would be sad knowing he no longer had his parents or his brothers [even though one elderly brother was still alive]. The caregivers would guide him to talk about something else.
Can you hire a day caregiver to be with Mom? That will give you some relief of listening to the same type of talk day in and day out.