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Use this site to help you on this journey, it is the best advice and place to dump the caregiving junk that accumulates.
That is such good news that she is getting tested and you are involved, hooray! High five and hugs!
I had to do a psych test as part of a job interview. When people say that they'll miss the questions the next time around -- they'll pose a simple question and then reword it and move it down the list a little, and then maybe do the same thing two or more times, to see if you're answering honestly or looking to fudge the test.
Hang in there. We're here for you.
And I'm so glad you found a therapist that you like. I find it so helpful to work with a therapist during Mom's transition. It helped me a lot with guilt feelings - and other major stressors happening at the same time.
Good luck as you proceed.
that sounds like a great start for your mom’s testing and perfect timing on your own therapy session.
I’m glad she is willing for you to go on the appointment for the results. She was probably nervous and now feels a bit better after having made the initial contact.
Thanks for letting us know.
I asked her how it went and she said "okay I guess. I told him I don't know why I am doing all this" and then she gave me kind of a jumbled answer from the doc that the original neurologist wanted a baseline for her memory issues. So, all in all, I think it went as good as it could be. I'm glad the doctor requested I be there for the last appointment. I also think he must have sensed that she was getting tired, or something, because this wasn't originally supposed to be a three day test, she was supposed to do the whole thing in one appointment.
Right now I'm waiting for her Primary Care doctor to call me back, she had an aortic aneurysm repair in 2017 and the patch needs to be checked this month. I had all her records sent to Cardiology, and then they told me they didn't do those scans. Really? So they suggested I call Primary Care. I have a feeling I'll be on the phone this afternoon looking for a vascular surgeon to check this thing. All these appointments seem never ending.
On a better note, I got to see the counselor early because she had a cancellation and that appointment went well even though I initially felt like a blubbering mess. This lady is smart and really honed in on the important issues and I'm so glad to finally be trying some CBT. I should have done it decades ago. I go back on Wednesday.
How are you doing?
What isn’t filled out is as telling as what is.
If I were you I would write the answers as you see them on a separate paper and drop them off to the doctor.
Remember your mom has dementia. Her brain is broken.
I would not be surprised to see that she may have changed other answers on the form from the answers she told you earlier.
Since she trusts no one, I’m wondering about the two friends. Are those acquaintances rather than friends?
She sounds lonely and paranoid.
Piper don’t discount your contribution to your mom’s care. The doctor will sort it out. It’s interesting that she said the doctor would blame “everything” on the alcohol. What is “everything” to her?
Wouid that be the balance issues?
She’s acknowledging there is a problem which is good. She just doesn’t want her good friend alcohol blamed.
Hopefully the doctor can discern things and make the right diagnosis. Actually come to think of it, I don't know if his job will be to diagnose or not? I guess I will find out. He's in the same health system as her primary and other neurologist so his findings should go into her health portal, I think.
So sorry. You may just have to learn to back off. Maybe a support group would help you.
She's not letting me go to this appointment at all. I don't think I will be able to talk to this doctor, but I think I can talk to the original neurologist who ordered the test afterward. Do you know how they submit results for neuro-psych evals? I assumed it was for a baseline to monitor the dementia, but the questionnaire delved into a lot of personality type things.
I think her primary care doctor is catching on to the drinking. She had to go in to get her blood pressure meds renewed and he ordered a bunch of blood work this time and included liver function tests and a follow up in a month, I also saw on the health portal that under "Active problems" it now says alcohol use.
If there is a way to get some notes (concerning alcohol for instance) to the doctor before the appointment that can be a good way to give a heads up. The doctor can't share things with you without your Mom's permission, but you can share information with them.
Let us know how it goes.
A big Hug to you. Those questionaires are long and challening. But the doctors who review them are also used to people to fudge their answers. You may want to pass a note to the receptionist letting the doctor know how much your mother is drinking.
You are posting because you are frustrated. You are trying hard to provide support to your mother and she is not appreciating you.
I can't force my way in, even with beginning dementia my mom is very stubborn and insists things be done her way.
I don't know why I came back from doing that questionnaire feeling so depressed. I just hate that my mom has all these mental problems on top of the dementia. I'm so sick of living in HER nightmare. She doesn't even see me as a person of value in her life. She said No to having anyone in her life she can discuss her problems, well what is she doing with me day in and day out?
You can write a note and ask the receptionist to make sure its included with the questionnaire. Tell the doctor, in the note, that Mom did not check the alcohol box because she was afraid that he would "blame everything on the alcohol". That she has abused it for years. If you know of her using opiods, he needs to know this too. Both effect the brain.
"Other questions- exercise- none. Hobbies - none. Friends- 2." Does this upset you? Is it true? Really, the doctor's will be able to determine if Mom was truthful in what she checked off.
This is her evaluation. Not sure if you will be able to sit in. Mom may not want you to. Don't get upset if she doesn't.
Neuropsychs are in general very good at sussing out evasion and lies.
Take a note pad with you. If mom answers a question untruthfully, write down the truth. Share with the doc afterwards.
Or sit behind mom, out of her line of sight. Shake your head "no" if she answers "yes" and you don't think it's true.