By proceeding, I agree that I understand the following disclosures:
I. How We Work in Washington. Based on your preferences, we provide you with information about one or more of our contracted senior living providers ("Participating Communities") and provide your Senior Living Care Information to Participating Communities. The Participating Communities may contact you directly regarding their services. APFM does not endorse or recommend any provider. It is your sole responsibility to select the appropriate care for yourself or your loved one. We work with both you and the Participating Communities in your search. We do not permit our Advisors to have an ownership interest in Participating Communities.
II. How We Are Paid. We do not charge you any fee – we are paid by the Participating Communities. Some Participating Communities pay us a percentage of the first month's standard rate for the rent and care services you select. We invoice these fees after the senior moves in.
III. When We Tour. APFM tours certain Participating Communities in Washington (typically more in metropolitan areas than in rural areas.) During the 12 month period prior to December 31, 2017, we toured 86.2% of Participating Communities with capacity for 20 or more residents.
IV. No Obligation or Commitment. You have no obligation to use or to continue to use our services. Because you pay no fee to us, you will never need to ask for a refund.
V. Complaints. Please contact our Family Feedback Line at (866) 584-7340 or
[email protected] to report any complaint. Consumers have many avenues to address a dispute with any referral service company, including the right to file a complaint with the Attorney General's office at: Consumer Protection Division, 800 5th Avenue, Ste. 2000, Seattle, 98104 or 800-551-4636.
VI. No Waiver of Your Rights. APFM does not (and may not) require or even ask consumers seeking senior housing or care services in Washington State to sign waivers of liability for losses of personal property or injury or to sign waivers of any rights established under law.I agree that: A.I authorize A Place For Mom ("APFM") to collect certain personal and contact detail information, as well as relevant health care information about me or from me about the senior family member or relative I am assisting ("Senior Living Care Information"). B.APFM may provide information to me electronically. My electronic signature on agreements and documents has the same effect as if I signed them in ink. C.APFM may send all communications to me electronically via e-mail or by access to an APFM web site. D.If I want a paper copy, I can print a copy of the Disclosures or download the Disclosures for my records. E.This E-Sign Acknowledgement and Authorization applies to these Disclosures and all future Disclosures related to APFM's services, unless I revoke my authorization. You may revoke this authorization in writing at any time (except where we have already disclosed information before receiving your revocation.) This authorization will expire after one year. F.You consent to APFM's reaching out to you using a phone system than can auto-dial numbers (we miss rotary phones, too!), but this consent is not required to use our service.
*If I am consenting on behalf of someone else, I have the proper authorization to do so. By clicking Get My Results, you agree to our
Privacy Policy. You also consent to receive calls and texts, which may be autodialed, from us and our customer communities. Your consent is not a condition to using our service. Please visit our
Terms of Use. for information about our privacy practices.
So do not be taken in by "sweetness and light", but keep your distance. For your own protection - keep in mind that NO ONE has the right to abuse you. And you have the right to protect yourself by limiting contact.
You DO NOT have to be battered by her. You can say enough is enough, I am done and walk away.
You are 52 years old, you do not have to obey your mommy.
Tell her you are done with her alcoholic bull crap and her choices have consequences, the main one being she has lost her scratching posts. Encourage your sibling to run as far and fast as they can with you.
Firstly I'm so sorry you are going through this. This is a hard, hard hand of cards you've been dealt. If you go to YouTube and just type in "elderly narcissist parents" there are so many good videos there. There is also a good forum (I flip between these two all the time) called Out Of the FOG (FOG stands for Fear, Obligation, Guilt). Their website is https://www.outofthefog.net/forum/index.php. It's for anybody who is dealing with somebody with any kind of personality disorder. Lots of camaraderie and suggestions.
The main thing is you don't have to take the abuse. Easier said than done, but you can love/manage from a distance. Best wishes to you.
My mom and MIL are both Narc queens. MIL is worse, but the two of them--holy cow, the dramas we have endured!
Step away and step out as fast as you can. Don't engage in negative talk with her. Talk to sis and be on the same page as per her tantrums.
At 78? She could go on 20 more years. Our moms are both 91 and will probably live forever. It's taken us 40+ years to figure out how to deal with them.
I have stopped having ANY kind of relationship with my MIL at all. I know people think I am cruel, but it has to be this way. With my own mom, when she gets 'that way' I just say "I'll talk to you later when you feel better" and walk away.
You and sis get to a support group for families of alcoholics. We don't have that need, but the stratagems employed are simply self saving and that's what matters.