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In some states...they can make you financially responsible for your Mom....PA is a good example. In some States you can actually be held criminally for negligent of a parent MA comes to mind.
I would call adult protective services and have her evaluated. Going to court to get her declared incompetent is expensive and slow. If the State will step in and move her to a locked assisted living it would solve all the problems for both of you.
I think you should do exactly as your Mother wishes. But, call the department of human services and get a social worker out there.
Don't give in, you'll be miserable. Thank God my mom (in Stage 6 Alzheimer's-angry, combative, vindictive) wouldn't WANT to live with me. I couldn't take the verbal abuse. She's pulling the "I should just die" card too (wanting me to say, "Oh no, please don't say that." My reply is,"He'll take you when He's ready and not a second sooner."
You can't worry about what other people think either. They have no idea of the grief in our childhoods.
Make sure they are in a safe place and have what they need and it CAN end there. Make sure you take care of yourself.
Sometimes I wish that adult children of families from hell could divorce their parents. I remember one case where a child did divorce his parents. Under many circumstance I understand completely.
God bless and good luck! I am so saddened that you have been placed in such a positiion.
Do not accept POA for this woman. Certainly do not attempt to become her guardian. She hates you? You do not have to go so far as to hate her back. In fact, I hope you don't -- that take too much emotional energy. Her "friends" are fleecing her? You don't want her money anyway, so it is no issue for you to worry about. Since she hates you, the kindest thing you can do for her is to stay out of her life, and that will be the best thing for you, too.
Should you at some point down the road get a call from a social worker saying your mother is destitute and needs help explain that you are estranged from her and are not interested in getting involved.
There is a very long thread on here about one daughter's successful struggle to get free of her abusive mother. It is called "Two years this July my mother has been living with me. She is a mean and hateful woman and I just can't do it anymore." She had to go through the legal process of evicting her mother and had to refuse again and again the attempts of well-meaning (?) social workers to work a reconciliation, and it hasn't been easy, but she has been successful. The poster is a compassionate person and is now dealing with her ill and beloved in-laws.
Put your energies where they will do some good. It is very, very sad that you did not have a kind and nurturing mother than every child deserves. You couldn't get away from it as a child, but you can now.