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Your feelings are completely normal.
When memories come back it can be heart wrenching.
Your mom absolutely knew how much you cared. So, please forgive yourself for anything that happened in the past.
You know that your mom would never want you to torture yourself.
Wishing you peace. Sending love and hugs your way today.
what you are going through is normal, you will have these moments and that is going to help you get to the point that those memories make you smile.
lean on your spouse and feel peace knowing you were there for your Mom.
There are times when it hits me and I cry. I can be listening to a song on the radio one day and it is just a song...next time I hear it I breakdown in tears. No rhyme or reason.
Time will lessen the hurt. But there will still be times that it will feel like you have been kicked in the gut. First Birthday, Thanksgiving, Christmas without will be hard.
Give yourself time, let yourself grieve. Ignore those that tell you it is "time to move on" Your time is your time.
((hugs))
I've been under a lot of stress lately for various reasons and it's these times that I really miss my Ma. She had such a calming way about her. We could just sit silently together and it was never awkward. I've never found that with another person.
Keep coming on here and writing about it if it helps. They say writing things down in a journal helps but I've found just coming on this forum and pouring my heart out is cathartic too so feel free.
I hope that Griefshare helps you.
It's been 6 years. I find the last Birthday card my mom gave me, and I dissolve. I heard her favorite song from Carousel--You'll Never Walk Alone...and I dissolve.
As someone said the other day on Exvee's thread on the topic of recent grief, the only way past it is through it. It's not easy and the unexpectedness of it makes it a bit weird.
Give yourself time and space. (((Hugs)))).