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My sister comes down once a month and stays overnight at a hotel, I can escape for a little bit ( but I have to have meals prepared for them). This month she is coming down so I can get a colonoscopy( woo hoo) but she will leave right away. She takes care of his bills and is the one I vent to. One brother is totally absent, maybe get a call from him every 6 months. Other brother calls him once a week but ends up telling me that I need to be doing more with him to keep him more mental engaged.
I know this isn’t forever, he is 97 after all. He is grateful and sorry to put me in this position. He has offered to leave me the house ( it’s not worth much, manufactured home in a sr development) but it may cause more issues than it is worth. Have applied for aid and attendance, praying to get that to be able to get some respite care.
I totally relate to the resentment building up as your siblings go on happily living their lives while you take care of your father's needs. I had that issue too when I was living with my mother and taking care of her full-time. It's so easy to ignore the problem when you're not the one who has to deal with it.
I wonder how involved your siblings actually are at this point. Do they call you on the phone to keep up with what's happening with your Dad? Are they available to listen to you vent and brainstorm for solutions with you?
I think you need help here. I think you need to involve your siblings in a discussion of alternate solutions for Dad. Maybe he should sell his home and use the money to fund some residential care. Maybe your siblings can chip in to provide some home care for when you're working or need a respite. A new solution is needed here. It shouldn't be all on you.
I wish you luck.
Did you volunteer to quit your job and move in with dad?
Did it seem like a good idea at the time?
What changed?
More information will get you better answers.
Go back home with your dad and have him either live with you or find an assisted living facility close to your home.
You will go to a "bad place" mentally if you continue being miserable where you are.
Your siblings have no need to change their lifestyles; you've provided what your father needs; they can continue their lives without becoming involved.
So you'll need to find an alternate way of caring for your father. Can you consider moving back home, either bringing your father with you or finding suitable living arrangements for him?
Was there some reason you made such a drastic change, i.e., giving up everything to care for your father? It's a noble and considerate gesture, but it sounds as if there were just too many sacrifices. Now you need to "put your life back together again."
Think about how you can do that where you are now, and if you can't, it's time to consider returning home and bringing your father with you, either in your home or in a senior community, or elsewhere.