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We all love you!!!
A most difficult and painful memory on the 4th anniversary of your
mother's passing, on your Birthday.
Saturday the 16th, will be 3 years since Dad passed.
What I have learned is that I will always miss him, until Lord willing I see him again. A hope I delight in.
I have learned that God gives healing of grief. And that grieving is a difficult process in the journey of life.
But, the first years was definitely the hardest without him.
I hope this doesn't sound too morbid. But we have a family cemetery here on our land. And I have noticed that as the mound of dirt that was placed over my Dad, shrinks down, so does my grief. And as the Iris's I planted around him grow, and with each year they bloom, I grow stronger and stronger, and joy blooms more than tears, now.
I know that this part of life's journey is the hardest. But, i know that God helps those who love his SON. Truly HE it is that healed me of such sadness.
I saw my Father and he hugged me and I hugged him and I felt his love,just like always.
All day today I have felt his love and that wonderful hug and Iv'e been so grateful.
It gives me hope that I will dream about my Mother too.
I am not there. I do not sleep.
I am a thousand winds that blow.
I am the diamond glints on snow.
I am the sunlight on ripened grain.
I am the gentle autumn rain.
When you awaken in the morning’s hush
I am the swift uplifting rush
Of quiet birds in circled flight.
I am the soft stars that shine at night.
Do not stand at my grave and cry;
I am not there. I did not die.
Mary Elizabeth Frye
But It really took over 2 years for me to begin healing. It varies for everyone, shorter or longer. But we musn't let it consume us, we must fight it and we must pray for strength and courage to overcome it. Hang in there. May God give you the things you need to get through this. HE is able.
Yesterday,August 3rd,was my Mother's 4th Birthday in Heaven.
She woulv'e been 90,if she were still here.
I can't believe she's been gone so long.
I miss her so much but know I was blessed to have her as long as I did.
Happy Birthday in Heaven to CWillie's Mom.
Aug. 2019.
Your experience sounds like PTSD or PGR (prolonged grief response).
Family and friends will not understand what you are going through,
and will want you to just get over it.
Sure that you need to talk to someone, almost daily. Add a therapist into your support system, and gradually your symptoms can subside, or be managed, maybe with medication. PTSD requires treatment, so you no longer will be getting sick from it.
When online, I ran across a blog article at Good Therapy . org. after entering PTSD and Prolonged Grief. Excerpted here:
"Prolonged grief (PGD), also known as complicated grief, can occur when symptoms of grief are exacerbated and persist over lengthy periods of time. Experiences such as reliving the death event; being reminded of the death through mental, visual, or auditory stimuli; and even experiencing intrusive thoughts are all symptoms of posttraumatic stress (PTSD)......"
You are not alone.
These symptoms do not mean you are crazy.
Get help, the experiences tend to repeat until you find yourself isolated, frozen at home, irritable and afraid.
Admitting these experiences are the first step to setting yourself free! You have done that. Therapy does not have to last forever, and you can recover!
I recommend a CBT (Cognitive Behavioral Therapist) with the focus on today.
Many hugs.....
Still kind of numb. I had a very conflicted relationship with her.
The things we stress about until we actually have something to really stress about.
My mom would have turned 96 in February if she were still alive. In my mind I always thought that would have been the age she died at for some reason.
(((hugs))) my friend. We are all so grateful to you as well for all your kindness.
Thinking of you.
Thank you for your kind,caring support and helping me to continue to put one foot in front of the other.
I wish all of you peace and more of what you enjoy doing and healing from all you've been through in this next year.
Happy New Year & Thanks~for everything