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If elders are still competent, or like my folks, borderline competent, you can only do as much as they will allow. Pick your battles. If they don't mind the 40 year old sofa why fight about it.
Get prepared. About half the questions on this site are from folks who are in OMG, WHAT DO I DO NOW mode. They don't have POA, don't know if there's a will, trust, insurance, bank accounts. I was there also about 5 years ago but fortunately was able to get the legal and financial stuff done before before my dads dementia took over.
Know when to intervene. Ending the Driving, in home help, move to a facility, this is all hard stuff but at some point it has to be done. And it can get ugly, they hate you, cry and fight. Be strong and get it done when the time comes. I would rather my folks hate me than see them die in a house fire or run the car half way through Walmart.
Another thing, if your Mother, Father or whoever you are taking care of was not a social person who liked to get involved in groups or activities when they were able-bodied, don't expect them to suddenly get like that cause you are worried they aren't mingling in the care home. Remember that if they have some form of dementia that you need to be in their world cause they have forgotten how to thrive in yours.
That it is NOT something that should or can be forced on you out of fear, obligation, and guilt by someone else. That it is NOT something 'they' or anyone can pay you to do out of default because there is no one else.
To do so can kill you, kill your spirit, create anger and resentment, leave one in shock asking why am I doing this? It is the little things that take so much out of you over time. Some are left with only the words of what their siblings had said to them about caregiving.