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I Just don't understand why they can't segregate the rooms for males and females in nursing homes and memory care facilities. Have a common area where people eat, do activities where people can socialize but keep rooms off limits to the opposite sex. There are many ignored and unreported incidents of sexual abuse and rape in these places by other residents and staff.

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JoAnn.......... the residents are not 'locked in their rooms' at my mother's MC............their rooms are KEPT LOCKED at all times. Meaning, the resident can get OUT, but nobody can get IN without a key.
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I'll ask the most obvious question which we all pretty much know the answer to already.

Don't these places have paid staff who's job it is to check the resident's rooms throughout the day and night to make sure everyone is where they're supposed to be? To make sure people with Alzheimer's/dementia aren't getting into trouble or causing some?
My father was in a chain nursing home for a few months before he died. In one of their franchises in my state and elderly resident with dementia went into the room of his elderly "girlfriend" with dementia and strangled her to death in the middle of the day.
Honestly, anti-restraint policies need to be reconsidered in care facilities. If there are residents that are aggressive and mobile they are a threat to others and need to be locked in or drugged.
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I would not think any facility would be able to lock a client in their rooms. For one reason, its a fire violation. For another its a restraint and legally you cannot restrain someone Dementia or not.
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Colleen, the door lock in mom's MC works like a regular door lock.....you push the button on the inside and it locks from the outside. She wears a key on a stretch cord on her wrist. If she forgets it, the CG lets her in. The CGs keep ALL the doors locked to the residents rooms at all times to prevent wandering and things going missing. Not all MCs have this policy but I'd MOVE my mother out of one that didn't, for obvious reasons.
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For those whom loved ones are in MC, how do the locks work, from the inside, if there are indeed locks?

My mother does not have a lock on her door. I’m not sure she would be able to remember how to figure one out.

Plus, there is her crazy Fear of Fire. A lock might add to that loop of fear.

Just pondering this. How do locks work with dementia?
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Would you happen to have a published statistic to verify your mention of ”…many ignored and u reported incidents of sexual abuse and rape in these places by other residents and staff”?

I’m quite sure that we agree that this subject is far too serious and important to describe in anecdotal terms.
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Several years ago the CBC aired an exposé on nursing home assaults.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gk5iEo-s_6M
It's a sad reality that dementia can cause aggression, both sexual and physical. And we mustn't forget that bad people get old too, not all elders are sweet little old grannies and grandpas.
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Sadly, incidents do occur in facilities. Even though they are extremely rare, one rape or sexual assault is too many. There are also false accusations too. Things aren’t always as black and white as they seem.

Several years back, I was appalled to read of a case where an aide had raped an elderly woman in a facility. It made me sick to my stomach. Here in my state awhile ago, a man entered a facility and murdered someone. He was a criminal and I can’t recall the exact circumstances. In happened in Baton Rouge which is slightly over an hour away from my city.

Overall, the care is good. Crimes of some sort will always be around.

The elderly and the children are absolutely the most vulnerable.
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My dreadful father, the bragger, was really 'one out of the box'. There wouldn't be too many like him, and I wouldn't design a facility with out-lyers like him in mind,
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I Just read so much on here about inappropriate sexual behavior among those with dementia and Alzheimer's and wonder how often these things happen but go unreported. Like the post about the woman's mother who was upset because a male resident was laying in her bed. Or another poster who said her father was a predator and bragged about having sex with a female resident who had dementia. Even the recent one about the father who the staff complained about for inappropriate flirting. I am sure there are others.
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My mother lives in Memory Care Assisted Living and has her own room which stays locked. Only she and the caregivers have access to it, not other residents of either sex. She's had no trouble with "sexual abuse" in the 2 years she's been living there. Furthermore, there is indeed a common area where the residents socialize, eat, watch movies and do activities. Naturally, each resident sleeps in his or her own room.

Before she moved into Memory Care, she lived in the same Assisted Living community in her own apartment which was also locked and off limits to other residents of either sex. She lived there from 2015 to 2019 with NO incidents of sexual abuse or rape, robbery or danger!


Why are you making across the board statements like this??
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