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Great = warm-hearted
I bet you were/are the kindest, most warm-hearted. Narcissists target these people.
My sister told me I was targeted and groomed to be a servant because I was the “ soft one “. ( out of 5 ).
I don’t think that being weak is the same as being sparkling or great. But thanks for trying .
But don't let their narcissism change you. Continue being the sparkling, great person you are. That's why you were targeted in the first place. That's why mud was thrown at you. Get up, get cleaned up, get up again and again. They want you down on your knees, broken. Depressed.
Don't let them ever change you.
And if possible, subtract, eliminate certain people/things from your life.
If I could go back in time, I'd also tell myself:
Eliminate, subtract. And watch what GOOD things start blooming in your life. If you don't see any blooming, you haven't subtracted enough.
Not everyone who appears to be your friend, is your friend. Some are even enemies. Some are even in your family.
Since caregiving is very tough, you'll discover quickly along the way, who your friends are, and who aren't. But be happy about it, Ventingisback. The earlier you discover people's true nature, the earlier you can spend time with people who really matter! See it as luck!
Cut ties when necessary. Enemies aren't just unfriendly. They're dangerous to keep in your life. Really. Dangerous for your peace, your self-confidence, your everything.
Take care of yourself first, cause you’re no good to mom, hubby & child if you don’t.
You’ll be a caretaker to mom solo. Your older siblings lied!! 🤣 Reach out for resources & contact agencies early!
What I would definitely tell myself is don't take it home! Leave the problems there and behind you. Don't bring it home to your family
Not only are we dealing with the loneliness of caregiving,
I feel like, post covid and political division has enhanced the the caregivers loneliness
You will find out that is up to you ALONE to value who you are and what you are doing. You will lose friendships, siblings and your social life. These were the most lonely years of my existence. After my LOs passed away I find re-adapting to "normal life" is a huge challenge.
I thank the universe for this forum!
I think in the long run its made me a better person
Definitely much more knowledgeable
My father quit when my mother died, and now he thinks I made up everything he did.
You don't owe your parents, our society and culture owes them a viable chance to continue living gracefully if they can.
Research in advance!
-PREP BEFORE you get deeply ENTRENCHED
Look at Options, Best/Worst case scenarios, Other People's Experiences. Because your parents May Not have Planned Ahead for any of the inevitable. What's the WORST you've seen your parents act? That (and worse), may become the person you're caring for 24/7 daily. Although they might seem OK, Logic an Reason may no longer work with them. Keep all this in your back pocket for future reference.
PROTECT and Conserve Your Resources EARLY ON
-Time, energy, finances etc. You may help your LO over a hurdle, but they'll Keep Declining and you'll become tapped out more and more. And Please Protect your Health! Caregiving CAN HURT YOU also
I'm playing a bit of Catch-up lol. But getting there now