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What's hubby's deal, why doesn't he listen to you? Why MUST you continue to care for mil?
You're already having your own Heath issues that cause you to fall?!! Doesn't he care?
I just don't understand. Why is he bent on keeping her home with you as her caregiver, and not find her a facility?
Tell him you're done. If he don't care about your health, happiness and well-being, then damd it, you must!
Is there any way you and your daughter could book a few days' stay at a hotel or spa weekend and tell DH, "I'm/we're taking a break for a few days. I'm overwhelmed and can't do this (caregiving) right now." Not CAN I go, but I'M GOING. The onus would be on him to then find alternative arrangements for his mom while you are gone. And in doing so, whoever is hired to do it for the few days might be someone you can call on again to help you out. Drastic, I know, but think it might open the door for DH to see that there ARE other options for his mom's care than just you or your daughter.
As other posters mentioned, a good therapist is a lifesaver as far as helping you get through and navigate everything. You don't have to do it alone.
Lost, I guess its already been said, MIL needs to be placed in an AL, if financially able, or a NH. Your health is at stake and that s/b your husbands top priority. A big ((HUG)).
It seems like everything I do is met with resistance.
The stomach issue may be from lack of eating, or drinking too much coffee. My shaking and falling is due to my other health issues. And stress also causes the shaking.
I JUST DON'T KNOW ANY MORE! I feel lost and unheard and and and. I don't even know where to begin which really bothers me, as I thought I used to have it all together, but no more.
Setting boundaries for an elder who lives in your home is very difficult compared to setting boundaries of an elder still lives in their own house, and the caregiver lives elsewhere.
Any way for Mom-in-law to hire a caregiver to come in a couple times a week or weekday afternoons to help "you" out?
As tacy's post above had mentioned, I too was dealing with the shakes and here I wasn't even a hands-on caregiver for my very elderly parents who could still manage [or so they thought], and my Mom who would refuse caregivers or cleaning crews into their house. My parents had passed not too long ago, and I still have the shakes, even using mild meds to calm me down :(